(Q: Why wont she eat?
A: Maybe shes not hungry.
Q: Why wont she go to sleep?
A: Because shes demon spawn.)
It turns out that people have opinions on disturbing childrens books.
I myself thinkThe Runaway Bunnyis a little weird and stalkerish, but others love it.
But there are some books that everyone agrees are justoff.
The Little Mermaid
Shegives up her voiceto be with a guy.
Now, you might say, But this is a classic!
You know what else is classic?
That is some Gothic shit, my friends.
Dont do this to a first grader.
Sounds okay, right?
Curious George
Full disclosure: We have this book, so it doesnt bother methatmuch.
The Bad Mood and the Stick
This is thenew Lemony Snicket picture book.
Im thinking this is not great timing for this kind of book.
Give yo a Chance
Speaking of pants, did you know thatBill OReilly wrote a childrens book?
Oh yes he did.
He co-wrote it with James Patterson, and its about using good manners!
Life was much easier in those days because there were rules most Americans followed.
That is some creepy shit by a creepy dude.
The Rainbow Fish
This is a story abouta beautiful fish covered in silvery scales.
But no one in the ocean will play with him unless he gives up his beautiful scales.
So…he does.
He gives up what is beautiful and unique about him to be accepted by others.
But I still think its a major bummer.
Okay, fine so far.
So I was surprised to see this raised on the parents list.
The Giving Tree
A lot of mothers hate this book.
Its just a little too close to the real-life parenting experience for my taste.
So, I mean,The Giving Treedoesnt have to be a guide to life, I understand that.
I still find it distressing when the mother, er, the tree, is chopped to pieces.
Ultimately, what one child or parent finds disturbing will totally resonate with another.The Story About Ping?
Your mileage may vary.
Just dont give anyone theRed Shoes.
