Whatsyournightmare, since November 8th?
Its a fun two hours!
Then I read the news.
I started ordering canned food.
And so, while I dont think Im newly paranoid, Iamnewly…prepared.
Or what well need for a fast skedaddle out of town.
Below, everything I have in either my emergency supply kit or our go bags, or both.
Google tells me that you want hard-sided, refillable containers.
You want a gallon per day per person: FEMA says for three days; NYC says a week.
Canned goods for home, and energy bars for the go bags.
So long, popcorn-popper and stand mixer.
You are artifacts of a more happy-go-lucky time.
A two-week supply ofbirth control.
No one wants a disaster baby.
Awhistle.I mean, I dontthinkIm going to be trapped under rubble, but then, who does?
First aid and toiletry kit, especially Band-Aids andmoleskins, in the event of hiking out of town.
The kit includes sunscreen, Advil, childrens Tylenol, Imodium, Claritin, sunscreen, toothpaste and toothbrushes.
Masks.For any kind of disaster that involves dust and debris.
Paper mapsof New York and surrounding states.
Id be allBlair Witchby the time I got to Pennsylvania.
Copies of all our important documents, in ziplocks.
If you dont want a utility knife, at the very least keep acan openernear your food.
I dont know why, but the various preppers recommend it.
Its cheap, so why not?
This was actually not my idea, and on the paranoia scale I think this ones pretty high up.
During the George W. Bush administration, my former boyfriends mother, a M.D.
After the breakup, I kept the Le Creuset, and he kept the KI.
So its paranoid, whatever, potassium iodide is cheaper than Le Creuset.
Mylar blankets.If the power goes out, no heat.
If were walking somewhere in the winter, no heat.
My period has taken me by surprise every month for thirty years, thats how fast I learn.
Disaster-time will be the moment that all changes, I swear.
Cheap ponchos.If were walking out of town I want to give a shot to stay dry.
Acrank radiothat will also charge our phones, andextra chargers.
Aflashlight, plus more flashlights.
Batteriesfor all of the above, in ziplocks.
And because God is capricious, I married a man who is not a big game player.
A disaster is the perfect time to force him to learn.
In the event of a shelter-in-place kind of situation, we will need some treats.
I hope the disaster catches me in the four-hour window in which I actually have chocolate in the house.
Five backpacks, which I got at the Good Will, because I am afrugalparanoiac.
Something lighthearted, because if hes sleeping at work I know hes going to be freaking the fuck out.
I consideredThe Roadbut decided that was unkind.
Water purification tablets,a bottle of unscented bleach, and a medicine dropper.
A roll of toilet paper, baby wipes, and hand sanitizer.Paranoid ladies still want to stay fresh.
Im going to call it somewhere pretty far away from here.
Agun:Just kidding, no gun.
If my kids can find all the flashlights, they can find a gun.
The thing about disaster preparedness is that its hard to stop.
But for now, at least, were set.
Except for the chocolate.
And stick inextra glassesfor anyone who wears prescription lenses.
