There is no sponge righteous; no, not even one.
The traditional sponge soaks up filth and gets stinky within a week.
It is also terrible at scrubbing.
Themicrofiber spongeis basically a traditional sponge: bad.
ThePeachy Cleanis a less bad version of the Scrub Daddy.
In my experience, it holds its structure better.
It smells like peach.
It is still bad.
The classic green scourer scrubs excellently, and is very nearly not bad.
But it feels unpleasant in your hand.
It will scrape away the food and the muck and the dish itself.
And its wicked heart will still cling to debris and fester.
Store it far from sight and far from love.
It is made of crushed walnuts.
It reeks of class.
I will buy it, and I will hate it, and I will throw it away.
It will reek of dirty dishes.
Some of you may like these sponges.
Some of you will claim they are not bad.
You are lying to yourselves.
All your sponges smell, or hurt, or flake, or do not do their job.
This is the fate of the sponge.
It is as disposable as paper towels or plastic bags.
We give a shot to clean it, the way we clean a bath towel or a washcloth.
We hope we can redeem it.
But a filthy, broken sponge is irredeemable.
No good sponge can go long without decaying into a bad sponge, for its use inevitably destroys it.
The better it is, the worse it will be.
It is a scapegoat, a sin eater.
Perhaps a Christ figure.
There is no escape.
A dishwasher cannot fit every dish.
Paper towels can only handle the lightest of cleaning tasks.
The scrub brush feels like nails on a chalkboard.
Throw away a sponge, but always buy a new one.
We hate the sponge.
The entrepreneurs mantra, Build a better mousetrap, should be Invent a better sponge.
The sponge is dead.
Long live the sponge.
