Welcome toEvil Week, our annual dive into all the slightly sketchy hacks wed usually refrain from recommending.
Weve got all the info you better be successfully unsavory.
When you have kids, people give you gifts.
And then there are theothergifts.
There are presents that are mildly clueless: The scratchy dresses for a little girl who clearly prefers jeans.
Because its Evil Week, were sharing this with a slightly different agenda.
Do with this information what you will.
Preschool ended three years ago and I am still picking glitter out of my eyebrows.
If so, great, include extra glitter.
Ill find ityearsafter my kids could wear it and then it will just get added to the Goodwill bag.
I finally just disappeared it.
So toy riding lawn mowers are out if your friends live in a walk-up in Queens, okay?
Those toys are fine in principle, but they have to live atyourhouse.
Craft kits for an 10-year-old are only going to frustrate and enrage a four-year-old.
Also included in this category are electronicsif the parents are trying to keep their kids tech-freeor vats of candy.
Choking hazards, or things with millions of tiny parts
Many toys have lots of little pieces.
I am okay with LEGOs but not with many other things in this category.
Bonus: The baby kept cramming the tiles in her mouth.
Its doubly crummy if the boy in the family receives something like a tool kit.
Or anything that requires a subscription, like electronic game set-ups that dont come with any games.
OrBunchems, which will have to be cut out of a screaming childs hair.
Dont make anyone run to the Goodwill.
Anything living
Dont buy living creatures without prior approval from the parents.
Dont buy, for example, an ant farm.
An ant farm that is eventually going to break, sending millions of little ants scurrying into the kitchen.
Of course, if you really hate the parents of these kids, these are allexcellentgifts.
But beware, at some point you may find yourself opening a gift-wrapped crate containing a pot-bellied pig.
