Welcome toEvil Week, our annual dive into all the slightly sketchy hacks wed usually refrain from recommending.
Weve got all the info it’s crucial that you be successfully unsavory.
So you want to lay a curse on your enemies?
Im not going to judgeIm sure they deserve it.
Maybe it was something like, Og want rock fall on you.
A word of caution before you begin
Areal, honest-to-god curse is more than yelling eff you.
Its powerful magic that isnt actually magic.
Heres how to cast your own Greek curse.
Use the time waiting for Amazons delivery to think up a really good curse for your enemy.
A kynotos is the lowest possible die roll in ancient Greek gambling.
If you play D&D, this is basically saying, may you always roll a 1.
It doesnt matter because theyre all make-believe anyway.
Carve your words of recrimination upon the lead.
Now its time to stick your kolossoi with pins.
So just stick a lot pins in em.
This is the fun part!
Wrap the inscribed lead around your kolossoi and bury it.
you’re able to still visit supernatural ruin upon all who oppose you by following the Irish tradition.
From jocular Ah, ta hell with ye!
Irish cursing is performative, so you have to be ready to put on ashow.
Heres a step-by-step guide to how to curse like an Irishman in the 1800s.
Write and memorize a poetic diatribe against your enemy.
verify to invoke God, the Saints, Jesus, and Mary.
Below are a couple examples of 19th-century Irish curses to give you some ideas.
May you never prosper.
The first drop of water to quench your thirst may it boil in your bowels.
May the flesh rot off your bones, and fall away putrid before your eyes.
May your limbs wither and the stench of your rotten carcass be too horrible for hungry dogs.
May you fade into nothing, like snow in summer.
May you be accursed in the sight of God, and hated by your fellow man.
May you die without a priest.
May the Almightys curse rest on your children.
This, I pray.
Once youve memorized your blistering curse words, itsshowtime,baby.
Pick somewhere crowdeda mall, perhaps.
You could try standing on jagged rocks by the sea and screaming your maledictions to the violent waves below.
Do some snarling and screamingwhatever it takes to draw attention to yourself.
Its a powerful image and good theater.
When you finish your curse, look at your enemy.
They almost definitely wont have an answer prepared, if they were even brave enough to hear you out.
Ideally, your enemy will be shunned and move out of town out of sheer embarrassment.
(hey do not put a curse on me in our comment section.)
