Yesterday, Googleannounced YouTube Red.
It is not the first time that Google has made flagrantly terrible choices in naming stuff.
As a brand itself, Google is pretty great.
And Im okay with that.
For starters, Google still hasnt really clarified what Google Nowis.
However, it now seems that Googlescollection of voice commandsis included in Google Now.
Or is that part of something called Ok Google,as this help page seems to indicate?
Maybe Googles voice actions have no name.
But if thats the case, then Googles entire personal assistant product has no name at all.
Which would be really silly, since the voice commands are way more useful than Google Now cards.
Google made this even worse with the advent of Now On Tap.
Disregarding that Now On Tap is anexceedingly dumb phrase, Now On Tap is also misleading.
As I mentioned in my hands-on, Now On Tap isreally more like Google On Tap.
you might search for things, but not much else.
Theres very little this feature does that even remotely resembles Google Now.
Unless youre including Ok Google voice commands, which Now On Tap does have.
But even disregarding all that, Google Now is a really difficult product to talk about.
Have you ever read a headline that talks about Google Now?
Google Now Can Create Reminders With a Voice Command.
Does that mean that Google, the search engine can do this?
Or is this strictly for Google Now, the mobile app?
From a consumer perspective, Google Play means a store where I can buy stuff.
That stuff includes apps, movies, TV shows, books, music, and games.
This confusion leads to tangible consequences.
They assume that Googles store alone is draining their battery or taking up all that space on their phone.
As if that werent enough, Google Play isnt Googles only store.
Not that long ago, Google used the Play Store to sell various Google hardware.
Now, the company has the separateGoogle Storefor that.
Would that be a clear and clever name?
Or would it be dumb and confusing?
Because thats exactly what Googles done with Google Drive.
When Google first introduced Google Drive, it was little more than anunpolished Dropbox competitor.
Then, they startedadding Google Docs featuresinto Drive.
Today, were in a better place, at least in terms of understanding what the hell Drive is.
On most platforms, we have separate, standalone apps for Docs, Slides, and Sheets.
Drive usually refers to some amount of space on Googles servers for storing and syncing files.
Of course, Google doesnt always make it clearwhat counts towards your storage limit, but whatever.
Thats a separate issue.
A simple name change would solve this.
No one would ever be confused.
Unfortunately, thats too sensible for Google.
It was easily one of the coolest things Google ever made, though it was unfortunately buried within Google+.
The old, video chat Hangouts product was rolled into the new Hangouts as little more than a feature.
Skype is widely known for beingthevideo chat app.
Its almost as if other products dont even exist.
Theyll think youre creepy as hell, but theyll know what Skype is.
The Hangouts video chat feature is, arguably,betterthan Skype in a ton of ways.
It has a ton of powerful apps you could share with people on your call.
You cancollaborate on drawingsorread your kids a bedtime story.
Hell, I canrun an entire Dungeons & Dragons campaignin Hangouts.
This is the second time Ive bought a set-top box designed by Google.
The first was the Logitech Revue.
The Nexus Player runsAndroid TV.
Oh, and I also have a Chromecast.
Google does this with all sorts of products.
Im still not totally clear on what the difference is between the two.
If theyre the same service, it would at least make sense to treat them like the same service.
Googles naming conventions encourage this confusion.
YouTube Red Sounds Like a Porn Site
All this brings us to today.
More often than not, Googles big naming sin is being too generic.
Googles map app is called Maps.
The book app is called Books.
The worst of these is Googles latest venture: YouTube Red.
This is one time that Google finally got theconceptalmost right.
Sure, its yet another normal English word, but at least YouTube Red sounds like a distinct thing.
A service all on its own.
This phrase can become its own proper noun.
Hulu was a meaningless word until we all got used to it being a video streaming site.
Google couldve put any word in there they wanted and turned it into abrand.
Except RedTube is already the name of a very famous porn site.
One of the biggest.
Honestly, Google, what the hell were you thinking?
Was this an internal code name?
A joke that slipped past the review board?
Or do you just not give a crap?
Frankly, any one of these things isnt really the biggest problem in the world.
Googles been complete crap at naming and branding things for years, and weve all survived just fine.
All Im asking is that you get a little bit more creative with the names for things, Google.
