Have Two Drinks at a Party

For everyone else, try two.

Here party means anything bigger than an intimate group of family or friends.

Does this seem low?

Its not, really.

Having two drinksspecifically, one drink, and then later on another drinkis moderate social drinking.

It will probably make you a little more relaxed and easygoing.

It is unlikely, however, to leave you sloppy or belligerent.

You will not be the life of the party.

How do you go about drinking only two drinks in the course of a party?

First, have one drink.

The current craze for ostentatiously bitter IPAs can be helpful here.

Thanks, you say, Im still good with this one.

The same result can be achieved by slowly sipping a glass of bourbon or scotch.

Let other people rush to the bottom of their drinks, if they must.

It doesnt matter, because youre only having two drinks.

Eventually you will get to the bottom of your first drink, because you are not not-drinking.

Now is the time to get something else: a nice, refreshing glass of seltzer.

Maybe a bracing cup of cranberry juice.

Maybe cranberry and seltzer together.

The sort of people who pay attention to what other people are drinking may notice and say something.

That is what you are doing, in fact: You are pacing yourself.

Everyone at a party is better off with a little fluid in the system.

They may be saying things that are indiscreet.

You are under control.

Now that you have fallen completely off the pace, have another drink.

Again, choose something you enjoy.

They will see you and your drink, and you will register as one of them.

Your drink will slowly warm you up, and you will feel convivial; youareone of them.

Just not a sloppy or reckless one.

Nor will you be desperate to join them in the line to go to the toilet.

Youre well hydrated but not sloshing.

Chat with the people you want to chat with.

You will find it surprisingly easy to maneuver around the bores and troublemakers.

If shots appear, do not take any.

This may require a little resolve, but you will have plenty of resolve.

Youre not going to lose an argument with a drunk.

Eventually your second drink, like all good things, will come to its end.

If you were having three or more drinks, a third drink would seem like a good idea.

But you are having two drinks.

Is this party still a place you want to be?

If it is, get another seltzer or juice, or go outside and hang out with the smokers.

It is not your job to sustain a thinning party.

Venture out into the night.

Feel the noise and stimulation of the party lift from you, leaving you clear-headed and alert.

Go home and get a good nights sleep.

Youre not missing anything.