Two weeks ago I paid to have lasers fired into my eyes.
The next day I woke up like Peter Parker, post-spider bite.
I couldnt climb walls, but I could see so well I felt like a superhero.
For the first time since I was a kid I could open my eyes and justsee.
Ive had so-so vision for most of my life.
I desperately wanted to go running and actually see where I was going.
I wanted to wear cool sunglasses that werent expensive prescription ones.
So I started saving and began my journey toward super-vision.
TheresLASIK,PRK,RLE,Epi-LASIK,PRELEX,Intacs, and many more.
Itsfairly safe, and the least invasive.
Your eye prescription has been (relatively) stable for at least one year prior.
Your pupils dilate properly.
Your corneas are healthy in relation to your prescription, both in thickness and topography.
You have healthy eye pressure.
you’ve got the option to afford it.
LASIK is rarely, if ever, covered by insurance.
Fortunately, most laser eye surgery offices will give you a free consultation.
Dont just rely on a free consultation, however.
Its not easy to decide on a doctor when theres a sea of billboards and shady places offering specials.
Paul C. Leeat theCalifornia Center for Refractive Surgery.
Generally speaking, you get what you pay for when it comes to laser eye surgery.
double-check youre getting your moneys worth too.
The place I went with does an all-inclusive eye treatment package.
I had my prescription checked in typical fashion (Number one, or number two?
They also check the thickness of your cornea to verify they have enough to work with.
This way corrected and focused light could reach the retina in the back of my eye.
Like a kid going to Disneyland times a thousand excited.
What kind of risks?
Even a severe infection would not likely result in blindness.
If its just partially torn, it can be repositioned and heal just fine.
Blindness or serious loss of vision is unlikely.
Most complications, however, are nowhere near as serious.
After I signed over my eyes, they gave me some Valium to help me relax.
I was pretty excited because Id never had it, but it wasnt as fun as I was hoping.
Honestly, it was the most disappointing part of the whole experience.
After about 10 minutes relaxing with a cuddly rabbit, I was escorted to the operating room.
They laid me down on a bed that swiveled under the first machine and covered me with a blanket.
In fact, the only thing that made me uncomfortable during the whole procedure was me feeling hungry.
And by close I mean literally touching and suctioning to my eyeball.
I was effectively blind (and couldnt care less thanks to the Valium).
Then the doctor repeated the process for the other eye.
When the doctor finished the flaps in both my eyes, they moved me to the next laser.
This was by far the most bizarre part of the process.
In an instant my eye went from blurry blindness to seeing.
Like someone had peeled me out of a see-through, hard-boiled egg.
Then the second machine got up close and personal.
I watched a quick laser light show, and had the same process done to the other eye.
The doctor squirted some antiseptic into my eyes, and I was escorted back into the relaxing/recovery room.
My eyes were super sensitive to light, though, so being outside was like beinginside the sun.
They gave me some sunglasses to help, but they could not stop the overwhelming light around me.
I woke up around four hours later (tacos were a bad choice) and…I could see!
My eyes, however, did not feel awesome.
I used the numbing drops they gave me, took a Tylenol PM, and went back to sleep.
I could see perfectly with 20/20 vision (and it continues to improve).
Im still a little sensitive to light.
Not inside the sun sensitive, but more like Im a recovering vampire sensitive, and its getting better.
Its not comfortableat all.
For me, it was the only thing I really disliked about getting laser eye surgery.
If youre wondering how long this super-vision lasts, the short answer is it depends.
You have to decide whether its worth it knowing that it could only last you so long.
Personally, 10 years of perfect vision is better than a lifetime without it.
All in all, I couldnt be happier with my new super powers.
Illustration by Sam Woolley.
