How to Accept an Apology

Heartfelt apologies can be tough; admitting you were wrong requires introspection, humbling yourself, being vulnerable.

But the gracelessness of the person accepting the apology too often exacerbates an already uncomfortable situation.

This can cause people to dig into false beliefs out of misplaced pride or the hope of saving face.

It takes courage to admit when youre wrong and shouldnt be looked down upon.

Dont be a sore winner!

If someone has admitted theyre wrong, thats a moment to reward them.

Of course, thats easier said than done.

Decide if you really accept their apology

There are many degrees to disagreements and wrongdoing.

Maybe what they did this time was so bad it changed how you feel about them forever.

Maybe the apology is bad, and the apologizer isnt taking full responsibility for their actions.

If you really cant accept an apology, dont pretend to while continuing to simmer with resentment.

But in your personal life, you are under no obligation to accept a lukewarm Im sorry.

Apologies are a step towards repairing a relationship.

If its not a relationship you want, let it go.

Even if Im in the right, I find I often feel embarrassed when its time to make up.

Its partly because I was showing how much I cared about something during the conflict.

We can get caught up in being self-righteousness, a powerful feeling: youre in the right!

You may not want to let go of that position.

If youre really upset about something, saying No big deal!

minimizes your feelings, feelings that are likely to pop up again at some later point.

If you need time after an apology, you could say so.

For example, Thank you for apologizing, but I need some time and space.

Let yourself cool downI think its helpful to ask if you’re free to text or call later.

That way, you dont have to make some grand gesture to indicate youre ready to reconnect.

I was upset about ___, and Im glad you understand that.

I appreciate your apology.

Im still mad, but I wont be eventually.

I understand, everyone makes mistakes.

At times, only one person is completely and totally wrong.

you might take responsibility for your bad behavior in a fight without making the whole altercation your fault.

Tell the apologizer, Thanks for apologizing.

I wish you hadnt done ___, its true, but I also wish I hadnt done ___ .