Every week, there seems to be a new parenting style with a clever name or idea behind it.
Perhaps you’ve heard of “sittervising,” where you sit down and watch your kids from afar.
There’s no research behind it to show whether it benefits your children in any way.
Then, on the other hand, there’s lighthouse parenting.
Look down at the rocks and verify that your child doesn’t crash against them.
Chances are you’re already practicing some of the principles of this research-backed common sense approach to parenting.
“Your job is to shape and to guide your child,” says Ginsburg.
“That’s part of what love is.
Love is preparing them.
Love is caring about them.
Love is expecting them to be their very best.”
If we don’t let little humans make mistakes, are they learning anything?
Kids won’t know how to recover from failure if they’ve never been disappointed.
All they learn from this misplaced encouragement is that they will never be satisfactory in your eyes.
Ginsburg says the best way to protect your child is to prepare them for the real world.
“If they get better grades today, what’s going to happen in college,” he says.
“Are you going to write their essays for them?
Are you going to keep their schedule for them?
[Parenting] is about preparation for the real world with an eye toward long-term authentic success.”
However, Ginsburg says you should never tell your child they are too sensitive or worry too much.
“What you do say is, ‘Your superpower is how much you care.
However, when you care this much, sometimes it hurts.
Your journey is to learn how to use your strengths and deal with having all of these feelings.
You will benefit so many other people when you learn that,'” adds Ginsburg.
He replies by telling parents they don’t have to have the perfect words for their kids.
“You have to demonstrate with your presence that you’re not going anywhere,” he says.
“You show up.
You stand by your kids.
You say, ‘I don’t have an immediate answer.
But I know you’re not going to go through this alone.'”
