Can we go over it together so I can have clarity on how I could have done better?

Mrs. Hagen, I studied a lot for the test and didnt do as well as Id hoped.

Im worried how it will affect my final grade in the class.

Teachers are human, Mikaela says.

Sometimes we make a grading judgment too quickly, or we upload the wrong grade.

Students who speak up or seek explanations are taking initiative and showing that they care about their grades.

When they do that, our instinct is to help them, not punish them.

There are many social factors that encourage them to experiment with new behaviors that they dont do at home.

But that doesnt excuse your flesh-and-blood from owning their own behavior.

Blaming the teacher.A teachers responsibility is to help your kid succeed academically.

If they happen to inspire a deeper character-shift in your kid, wonderful!

But you cant expect them to do the heavy lifting for you.

Blaming yourself.Behavior mistakes happens, even with straight-A students.

Dont beat yourself up about it.

Address the behavior, and move on.

If an accusation or insinuation is really angering you, get clarity by writing down the specifics.

Switch Into Problem-Solving Mode

I get why parents get defensive, Mikaela says.

Id value your input on any ideas you have to help improve his behavior.

I will sit down with him and take him through an outline of what we come up with.

Open communication is vital, suggests Mikaela.

Were on the same team.

We both want your kid to succeed.

If there are obstacles to that, we have a better chance overcoming them as allies, not opponents.

That made his graduation a really poignant moment for all of us.

I dont think were above scrutiny, she says.

However, I hope parents give us the benefit of the doubt in all but the most extreme circumstances.

Empathy for teachers and open communication is important.

Bringing emotion into a three-party meeting with a counselor can inflame the situation.

Very often, we dont see the whole picture.

Let them know you respect their struggle.

A Starbucks gift card during the grueling slog of standardized testing is also appreciated.