How to Become the Pope

You’ll be the last absolute monarch in Europe.

If youre into job titles, how does Successor of the Prince of the Apostles grab you?

How much money does the pope make?

Lets start with the money.

The idea is that youre living as Christ lived, off the kindness of others.

To choose a new leader, the Church doesn’t exactly post onindeed.com.

No doubt it gets dramatic.

Or they’ll just all playFIFA; you don’t really know.

That way everyone outside the chapel knows that the cardinals are still jawing.

They could draw straws to see who got the job if they wanted.

You dont need a degree from community college or any specific certification or training.

it’s possible for you to come from any background and be from any part of the world.

All you have to do is get your name on 2/3 of those papersbut thats the tricky part.

Since 1379, every pope has been selected from among the college of cardinals casting the votes.

But there is a chance.

In this case, Cardinal Kevin Farrell will be running the transition.

You have a few weeks to get to Vatican City and befriend the staff at St. Marthas House.

Maybe you could convince them to talk about you in a way the cardinals would overhear.

Perhaps two valets could say, You know who would make agreatpope?

Hes this writer from Los Angeles.

Really good guy, while Cardinal Giovanni Battista Re is walking to the Holy Roman Cafeteria.

Another potential avenue is engineering a spiritual vision.

And when they told the other cardinals, and they had thesamevision?

How could theynotelect you?

As youd expect, he was deposed (dont mess with peoples livelihoods, right?)

and another pope was elected.

Then, in 1409, the French and Roman cardinals elected another pope to clean up the mess.

Neither of the two existing popes stepped down, so there werethreepopes.

So ask yourself if the job is really worth it.

But you dont get invited to Oscar after-parties.

The day-to-day of the job seems like a grind.

Theres also vicious office politics.

Its like high school with vestments.

So, do youreallywant the job?