No one really wants to think about their parents declining.

Most offices of aging have a strong information and referral program.

throw in in your zip code and a list of facilities will pop up.

What Youll Pay

Care is not inexpensive, says Haverstick.

And even that, says Haverstick, is time-defined: 100 days per incident.

So if your parent is justgenerallydeclining and doesnt meet those qualifications, youll have to pay out of pocket.

Theres not much help for assisted living.

The assumption is that they can avoid placement and get care at home, he says.

As Haverstick says, They are one- or two-star communities.

He also suggests touring the various facilities in your area with your mom or dad.

If youre a planner, a continuing care retirement community can be a good choice.

As much as these places talk about care, theyre businesses.

It can be very frustrating for families.

Theres more individual care, and theyre less institutional.

These are known as green houses, or having a household model.

Most medical-assistance facilities are larger and more institutional.

Person-centered care.Is there individual care in activities?

Are food preferences accommodated?

Do they let you wake up when you desire?

Connection with the outside world.Is there continuity with their previous life?

Look at the activities calendar: Would your parent like this?

And observe: Is everyone gathered around the TV or the nurses station?

If so, thats a bad sign that thats the only thing theyve got going on.

A reasonable staffing ratio.What are the number of nurses and aides per shift?

How big is the unit?

If theres one aide for ten people, thats too many.

If its two or three, thats exceptional.

If you’ve got the option to, observe all three shifts.

Clean, well-cared-for residents.Is everyone out of bed and dressed by mid-morning?

Are people wearing their hearing aids and their glasses?

Many places forget things like that.

Can you imagine having some cognitive decline and then spending your day not being able to see or hear?

Are there smiles on the residents faces?

On the staffs faces?

If the staff is unhappy, care is not strong.

An odor-free facility.Is there a smell of urine or feces when you walk in?

Building upkeep should be a lesser concernit doesnt necessarily reflect on quality of care.

People can get enamored of recently built, freshly painted places, but the care is substandard.

More on portable oxygen concentrators from G/O Medias partner.