Ive always hated haircuts.
Its all because of the Scotch tape.
Then shed cut the tape off.
That was the haircut.
I looked like, well, Mark Davis.
The kids at school were inspired by this haircut, judging by the frequency of their jokes about it.
I did not share in their enjoyment.
And thats why I hate receiving haircuts.
Heres what Ive learned.
Do Your Research
Lets talk about the hair itself.
Is yours stick straight, but your kids is curly?
Cutting curly hair is a completely different operation than cutting straight hair.
Straight hair lays flat, showing all your mistakes.
Curly hair hides mistakes but becomes shorter as it dries, turning your cute bob into a Ronald McDonald.
All artists must educate themselves about the medium in which they work.
Think about the cultural statement your kids haircut will make.
Last summer, my son wanted a buzz cut.
If only Id paid more attention toMacklemore.
The Equipment
You donotneed Scotch tape.
You need real shears.
Not the scissors you use to open a bag of chicken nuggets.
Not the blunt, plastic-clad things your kid uses to cut out construction paper hearts.
you’re free to find dozens of shearseven for leftiesonline.
A word of warning: they will be sharp.
Like a lightsaber and a diamond-edged circular saw had a baby.
You need a comb.
You need a spray bottle filled with warm water.
(Cold water is chilly!)
you might buy a barber cape if you want, but a superhero costume cape works just as well.
Avoid clipper-based haircutting kits at first.
The clippers are sized for adults, and its a little awkward maneuvering them around tiny, lumpy heads.
Plus, a power tool makes a person overzealous.
Remember what you did to the shrubbery with the electric hedge trimmer?
Last but not least, you need a equipment that plays hours of videos.
This process may take a whileslow and steady yields better results.
Keep your kid stationary and half brain dead with cartoons.
The Process
Choose a room that lacks a rug or carpet.
Its much easier to clean the impending hairy mess with a broom instead of a vacuum.
Put your eyes on the same level as your kids head.
Many people achieve that by seating the child on a bar stool or a stack of books.
Instead, put your client in a kid-sized chair or stool and stand on your knees.
Use knee pads or a folded up towel if this gets painful.
Make yourself as comfortable and calm as possible.
Finally, fire up theCaillouvideos and baptize your child with a fine mist of warm water.
Note the techniques used by the stylists.
Which ones seem most intuitive to you?
How likely are you to be able to reproduce a particular cut?
Dont watch too much!
As a novice, its easy to feel overconfident.
Show me a few gallbladder surgery videos, and Im ready to scrub in.
But once Im holding the scalpel, things get messy.
Its the same with haircuts.
Heres some general advice:
Err on the side of length.
Taking more off is a cinch.
Putting it back on, not so much.
Work in stages, moving from one part of the head to the next.
Step back and look at the whole picture, to see how different areas blend together.
Dont put your shears away until the hair dries, when youll notice odd strands that need snipped.
Listen to your kids and give them the cut they ask for.
If the mirror shows that youve missed your mark, get back to work.
When cutting bangs, dont sneeze!
