It feels like drinking and dating are inextricably intertwined.
Some coffee shops and movie theaters even serve alcohol.
But as ubiquitous as drinking seems, there are plenty of people who choose not to imbibe.
A Morning Consult poll from 2019foundthat 43% of Americans over 21 dont even drink.
If youre a socialor frequentdrinker about to head out on a date with someone whos sober, dont despair.
Here are some tips to check that everything goes down as smoothly as a Shirley Temple.
Dont assume you know this persons reasoning unless they tell you outright, which they dont have to do.
you’re free to ask, of course, respectfully, but dont get pushy if they demur.
You have no idea what drove them to be sober.
Dont be afraid to ask the reason.
Youre not asking because of judgement.
She added its key to give them time to tell you their reasoning.
Dont make this about yourself.
Their sobriety has nothing to do with you.
There are so many interesting things about this person that you could talk about instead.
And dont fret endlessly about whether its acceptable for you to have a drink, either.
Ask simply, Do you mind if I order a beer?
If they mind, theyll let you know.
Dont make this about yourself.
Their sobriety has nothing to do with you.
Your profile is not supposed to just, turn on, or intrigue everyone.
In fact, its supposed to turn away the wrong people, she said.
Yes, some people wont reach out or respond.
Those are the people who you dont want anyway, so may as well eliminate them sooner than later.
Dont count yourself out from the jump, then.
Again, if this were a huge issue for them, they wouldnt be going out with you.
That data proves it.
What matters is communication and a mutual willingness to figure out solutions that work for both people.
This is something Id experienced similarly when I became vegan seven years ago.
Why not try being sober on your date for the same reason?
There are loads of things to do besides sit in a bar.
Know that dating doesnt require drinking.
you might still be sexy, fun, and even more authentic if you are sober, said House.
You dont need alcohol to be yourself.
And you dont have to order a coke or sparkling water.
you could even go to a bar and get a cool muddled thyme and jalapeno cocktail without alcohol.
House and Syn both suggested a few non-drinking date options.
Syn said she has started having first dates at hookah joints.
House suggested having a traveling multi-course dinner, grabbing appetizers, dinner, and dessert at three different locations.
House also suggested making art or ceramics, checking out an independent bookstore, or doing something competitive.
Hell, try one of those trendy new ax-throwing spots.
Ultimately, it doesnt need to be a big deal.
