A few years ago, most if not all of my friends were single.
Im still (incredibly) single (call me!
), but most of my former bad date-having compatriots are in serious relationships.
53.2 percent of 2016’s unmarried Americans were women, while 46.8 percent were men.
a full 3.4 years older than in 1990, and 5.4 years older than in 1980.
Being single on a prolonged basis is a real form of grief.
The life that youre anticipating hasnt come to pass yet.
Here are some ways to cope.
This, it turns out, is totally normal, and not a sign that youre jealous and bitter.
Its easy (and okay!)
Being single on a prolonged basis is a real form of grief, saysDr.
Vinita Mehta, a clinical psychologist in Washington, D.C.
The pain thats being felt is real and valid.
The life that youre anticipating hasnt come to pass yet.
Plus, when your friends couple off, you dont get to spend as much time with them.
This leaves you with a lot of time to ponder your potential future of solitude.
So theres also some loneliness, some change of routine.
Youre lonely, feeling left behind, and feeling that your life has changed.
Single people too often get ditched by their coupled friends, DePaulo writes in an email.
Research shows that when couples move in together or get married, they become more insular.
That includes spending less time with friends.
The more time you spend isolated from your friends in relationships, the more left out youll feel.
Carr suggests planning at least one group outing well in advance.
Plus, as she points out, one social engagement usually begets more.
After youre done, youre like, We had so much fun, lets do it again.
And you put another on the calendar, she says.
And I often go to events in which everyone else is coupled.
When youre the only one whos different, it makes you feel like you dont belong.
Youre not a part of the family.
you’re free to draw boundaries over where it is you dont feel comfortable, Mehta says.
I hate when coupled people do this.
Most of all,definitelydont set your friends up with random single people youve picked off the street.
The fact is, there are plenty of perfectly dateable single people out there who havent found a match.
There are also plenty of couples out there who are miserable.
(The answer is yes), DePaulo writes.
In fact, DePaulo points out, its better to be single than coupled up with the wrong person.
Not all people who are married are happily married.
Probably, though, youre fine.
That good things come to those who deserve them, Carr says.
About 90 percent of people today will marry, Carr says.
In the meantime, its worth taking stock of what youve gleaned from periods of prolonged singleness.
Find if theres some meaning to be drawn from it, Mehta says.
Some people love being single and they love spending time alone and maybe also living alone, DePaulo writes.
Im one of those people.
If you are, too, you have nothing to fear.
You will savor your solitude and you will not need any instructions for how to do that.
Most importantly, you dont have to share a room with someone who snores.
Good sleep will help you combat a lifetime of smug couple dinner party third degree, after all.
