How to identify an asshole
Want to know how to identify the assholes in your life?
Start with your own emotional responses.
Somebody who makes you feel like dirt.
(No, your kids arent assholes for not enthusiastically responding to your how was your day?
interrogation every time they return from schooleven though their unwillingness to talk might make you feel like dirt.)
Keep in mind that theres a difference between a person who occasionally exhibits asshole behavior and a certified asshole.
As Sutton explains: All of us, under the wrong conditions, can be temporary assholes.
Certified assholes are people who consistently make people feel like dirt over time.
Theres also one more reason you might feel like youre surrounded by assholes:youre actually the asshole.
Youre treating people like dirt and theyre throwing the shit back, says Sutton.
How to deal with assholes
Theres no one-size-fits-all strategy for dealing with assholes.
Sutton suggests taking one of five strategies:
Dont take it personally.
Decide that youre going to find the asshole hilarious.
(Its best to keep your amusement to yourselfwhich is also part of the fun.)
Create physical or emotional distance between yourself and the asshole.
If youre sharing a conference room with an asshole, sit as far away from them as possible.
Tell yourself youre conducting a psychological study of assholery.
Be nice to the assholeas pleasant and unruffled as possible.
Dont react to or otherwise encourage their behavior.
Do you have the power to fire them?
Can you stop inviting them to group events or family gatherings?
If you dont have individual power over an asshole, you might have more power in a group.
Each one has more and more power and the asshole has less and less power.
For example: ask your peers whether they see the same asshole behavior you see.
