Im a bit persnickety.

So, I came up with a user manual for myself to help them (and myself).

Its also useful for family members and co-workers.

I highly recommend giving it a shot yourself.

Of course, yours will be different, but everyone loves embarrassing examples, right?

First things first: do not tell me to cheer up, smile, or get over it.

When you inevitably ask me, Is everything okay?

and I respond, yes, Im just grumpy, leave it at that.

If you continue to poke, Ill just get grumpier.

When left alone, Ill eventually get out of it and back to normal.

That said, in 95% of these cases, the no apparent reason part is false.

There is a reason: Im probably hungry.

This is merely a kneejerk, stress reaction.

It has no real impact on either my mood or my general disposition.

Just give me the space to do my thing and itll pass.

Dont let me do this!

Ialwayshave a better time once Im out there, and I occasionally need an extra push to get there.

Were all aware thatbreaking out of your comfort zone is good form, but that doesnt make it easy.

If youre coercing me out, psyche me up, get me stoked, and Ill be into it.

I probably talk too much, becauseI think too much.

Id prefer the same from you.

If I do something stupid or say something idiotic or just act weirdly, tell me point blank.

Then, tell me how youd prefer everything to be.

Ill counter with how I feel, and well have a nice, pleasant conversation.

To start, brainstorm some different situations to create a sort of table of contents for this user manual.

What do you do differently than other people?

What (not obvious) things make you feel terrible?

What makes you feel awesome?

Whats your schedule like?

Does being a morning or evening person affect anything?

Do you have a ritual in the morning or before bed thats important to you?

What random things annoy you for no good reason?

Whats your communication style?

How do you prefer people approach you about important topics?

How do you approach people?

Do you prefer people be blunt with you, or soften the blow?

How do you make decisions?

How do you handle making decisions on-the-fly?

Do you prefer to be alone when youre hashing things out, or get help from others?

when you obtain a list, pick through whats important to you.

This is your table of contents.

Next, youll just to outline what to do in any given circumstance.

The end result here is twofold.

Illustration by Tara Jacoby.