Thanksgiving has a reputation for endless brining methods, divisive side dishes, and argumentative relatives.
Its no wonder hosting can be stressful.
Unless youve gotThe Right Stuffing, that is.
I weld; I started blowing glass at fifteen.
I like fire just fine.
Introducing the Turk n Surf
First, youre going to need to assemble your tools and ingredients.
I bought three gallons of peanut oil for $64 and then a petite eleven-pound gobbler.
This fryer topped out at fourteen pounds, but morerecentmodelswill accommodate up to twenty-pound turkeys.
Double-check that you know where yourfire extinguisheris, and that it is still functional.
When ice meets oil, it explodes.
400-degree oil will melt your plastic furniture, kids toys, play structures and children.
It will light your landscaping on fire.
Get into that bathtub, its now overflowing.)
Why not just do that with the brine?
Then I let it cool and poured it right into the fryer.
(Always check under the neck flap.)
It seems smart now because youre not drunk yet.
All you really need to do now is dump out the brine and dry the pot.
(Why bother washing it, when youre about to heat oil to 350-400F in it?)
Light it up
Consider placement of the fryer in your kitchen.
Ideally, its below your hood or near a window.
Now remember, we also know how much is needed to cover the turkey.
If the fill line is more than you need, dont go all the way.
If the fill line is below where you need… well, we have a problem.
Horizontal and in the basket as well as possible?
Is the turkey under the weight limit?
You want to be sure youre not overfilling the electric fryer, either.
But assuming math is mathing, you should be good.
If the math isnotmathing, its time to get out a roasting pan and go to plan B.
The fryer should be adjusted to 400F, even though were going to fry around 350F.
Thats inside and out.
You dry it out for a second reason, which is crispy skin.
It cant get crisp with the skin soggy.
Wear heat resistant gloves.
Use a long enough thermometer that youre not close to the oil.
If youve gotten it to 400F, congratulations; now turn it down to 350F.
If its at 350, were good to go.
At this point, you have two options.
Cover the pot or dont cover it.
The basic math is that it should take 3-1/2 minutes per pound, which put me at 40ish minutes.
Made sense to me.
I was not excited for this process.
It immediately broke into the legs and breast, which I took as a good sign it was done.
The skin was not crispy, despite all efforts otherwise.
Heres the thing, folks: I dont love turkey the way some people do.
Except when you deep fry it.
This was tasteless and tough and dry.
So much so I took another temperature reading, still just 160F in the breast.
It had retained zero taste from either the brine or the dry rub.
But my bar is, as you now understand, low.
Call me a snob, but I demand more of my fowl.
Anything to make use of this oil Id bought for this singular use.
