If any of that sounds familiar, youre not alone.

This post originally appeared onThe Muse.

Whendisagreements with coworkersgo bad, they leave you frustrated and humiliated.

At their worst, they could even cost you your jobs.

The good news is, they dont have to.

Because its not inevitable that a difference in option will lead to a destructive clash.

So, how can you keep them from turning nasty?

To find out, Zandan and his team began with research on communication science and argument diffusion.

From this research, the team discovered three ways to check that workplace disagreements dont escalate into destructive territory.

Executive Communication Coach Briar Goldberg recommends that you think about how the other person operates.

The same is true on the other side.

Imagine this scenario: Your manager tells you the assignment you just turned in missed the mark.

When you respond, you have three options:

1.

You told me to do it that way.

In laying blame, you put your manager on the defensive, which makes you look bad.

Ill fix it right away.

Chances are good youll earn your managers respect by accepting his criticism.

I want to verify this doesnt happen again.

But, according to University of Texas communications professor Angela Vangelisti,positivity is key.

In any interpersonal communication setting, we mirror each others tone, mood, and body language.

Negativity will breed more negativity, but positivity is equally contagious.

The FBI personnel in QCs analysis used 1.7x as much positive language as negative.

Often, this tactic is the best way to get to the other side of an argument.

Last time, Jim drafted the initial outline and Ellen and I were in charge of visuals.

you might have victory or goodwill, he says, but not both.

In many cases, hes right, but workplace disagreements dont have to become showdowns.

She holds a B.A.

in English and Playwriting from Northwestern University, and an M.A.

in Publishing from Emerson College.

Sarah lives in Austin, Texas, where she is the director of marketing forQuantified Communications.

To learn more, connect with Sarah on LinkedIn orTwitter.

Image byGary Watersvia Getty.