I certainly struggle with it.
But sometimes playing the victim only limits what were actually capable of.
This post originally appeared on theCrew blog.
All of a sudden Im tense, grumpy, and sometimes downright furious.
And all of that mindfulness work to put me in the right headspace for the rest of the day?
Yeah, its gone right out the window.
And despite our best efforts, emotions are very difficult to control.
Every response we make to people and eventswhether its out of habit or consciously thought outis a choice.
A choice to take ownership of our actions or to place blame on someone else.
Its our choice to say who is in control of our lives.
Either you initiate the day or it runs you.
Adam blamed Eve for eating the forbidden apple, who in turn, blamed the serpent for persuading her.
Comedians arent performing at college campuses because students cant seem to take a joke.
Books arent being assigned in class for fear of causing distress.
But all this does is create a mindset of powerlessness.
We fall into disempowering patterns where we blame others, bemoan circumstances, and engage in self pity.
If only X, then things would be better
Why her not me?
As persecutors, we judge and criticize others, typically out of a place of anger and spite.
Thats why complaining is such a great self-defense mechanism.
Its far easier to complain and criticize than create, lead, and act.
We dontgrow, mature, and learn from our mistakes.
Persecutors becomechallengers, who help them learn and grow in their journey of self exploration.
And finally, rescuers act ascoachessomeone supportive who helps the creator move toward their desired outcome.
The same problems, challenges, and events are there.
We just look at them through a different lens.
What is the intention behind our responses?
Who are we blaming for the things that happen to us?
We forget that obstacles and misfortune are rich opportunities to learn and grow.
He says:
Its one thing to not be overwhelmed by obstacles, or discouraged or upset by them.
This is something that few are able to do.
As Laura Ingalls Wilder put it: There is good in everything, if only we look for it.
Yet we are so bad at looking.
We close our eyes to the gift.
A simple exercise to shift out of this victim mentality is to try a period of no complaining.
And by no complaining, I mean no gossiping, judging, and swearing.
We think in words, so the words that we say affect the words that we think.
Buddha said our life is the creation of our mind.
While Aristotle said It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it.
You get to choose how you respond to every situation youre faced with.
So whats more important?
Anger or personal growth?
Image byIkon_Grafix(Shutterstock).
