Confidence can bean enviable quality.
Being completely assured of yourself and your abilities gives you the courage to take risks and accomplish great things.
But confidence doesnt always come easy, and it can come and go depending on your mood.
The good news: you might fake it pretty easily.
Remember,self-esteem and self-confidence are different.
And it works the other way, too.
Social psychologistAmy Cuddy talks about high power poses.
Its a classic power pose.
Whats more, practicing these high power poses can eventually help youfeelmore confident.
This is where the tired old phrase, fake it til you make it really does ring true.
Your shoulders can be surprising indicators of self-confidence, too.
Instead, stand up straight and pull those shoulders back.
Its obvious, and probably advice your mother gave you, but it really can make a big difference.
It helps to practice, too.
You want to maintain just the right amount, but finding that sweet spot really isnt that difficult.
As a general rule, give a shot to make eye contact60 percent of the time.
It can help to ask close friends and family how they feel about your eye contact, too.
Thats an easy way to find out if you make too much or too little.
For the most part, though, we tend to make less eye contact when we lack confidence.
Heres a trick to help you remember:make a habit of noticing their eye color.
When you meet someone and want to come across as confident, pair their name with their eye color.
In doing so, youll give them more eye contact.
Learn the Components of Charisma
Confident people are oftencharismatic people; the traits go hand in hand.
In short, you want to be engaged.
Its simple: before replying when its your turn to talk, wait two seconds.
For one, this shows youre listening to and processing what the other person is saying.
Interestingly, youre also controlling the conversation when you ask questions, which, again, shows power.
Charismatic people know how to keep the conversation going, too.
Avoid awkward silences withthe history/philosophy/metaphor rule.
If youre not sure how to respond to something, consider it from each of those angles.
PHILOSOPHY I HATE coasters dude!
All the ups and downs make me wanna puke.
But I go on one every day to prepare me for the ups and downs of life.
METAPHOR Roller coasters are like cigarettes…
Remember, being charismatic is more about how your behavior impacts the people around you.
Simply being present and making them feel important can make a huge difference.
It exhibits warmth and power, which is charisma in a nutshell.
Dont jump at the first chance to speak.
Take a moment and think about your reply.
Talk slowly and calmly.
Beyond that, you want to emphasize what you know.
This is classic job interview advice.
This is just one silly example, but you get the idea.
One thing most of us are guilty of is trying to prove other people wrong.
So it seems a little ironic to suggestpretendingto be more comfortable in your skin.
But theres something to be said for the cliche, fake it until you make it.
Sometimes going with the motions actually makes you feel them.
But we all have off days, and for those days, these tips can come in handy.
Illustration by Sam Woolley.
