On its surface, this might sound like a caring, considerate question.
But in the moment, many people panic and struggle to come up with an answer.
Thats because a lot of people feel like they dont really know themselves sexually.
They dont understand what they want or like.
Like the answer needs to be a 20-point, step-by-step list.
This is another way that people tend to overcomplicate the question.
As long as it makes you feel good, it counts!
If you had to really get into the nitty gritty details, how would you describe sex?
How would you describe your own likes and dislikes?
Another way to explore this is to write a piece of erotic fiction that includes several different sexy scenes.
What elements end up making it into your story?
Whats the best sex you ever had?
Can you think of one to three different memories?
From there, consider what, specifically, made those experiences so wonderful.
Or maybe receiving oral sex has always been your favorite part of having sex.
What about the worst sex you ever had?
What, specifically, made those experiences so terrible?
Or there was a time when you played with domination and submission and didnt enjoy it.
Those memories are chock full of details about what you want or like.
One of the best ways to better understand your sexuality is to develop a masturbation practice.
Take the time to explore your own body.
Touch different parts of your body in different ways, and discover what it responds to.
Play with different fantasies and scenarios, and see which ones turn you on.
Learn how to be more present in your own skin and in the moment.
you’ve got the option to have so much more space to examine your own reactions.
Theres just no way to fully know whether or not youll like something unless you try it.
Of course, you may also have boundaries that you know you dont want to go beyond.
For example, maybe you know that youre not open to a threesome or group sex.
Youre definitely allowed to have boundaries, and youshouldhave them.
That can be a great low-risk way to try it out.
You have to be able to know if something feels good or not.
But there are so many more nuances that we can be open to as well.
