Whether youre across the room or already talking, eye contact has been shown to boost feelings of attraction.
Marin says the trick to flirtatious eye contact is to maintain your gaze longer than usual.
Repeat this a couple times and, if they arent giving you weird looks,thenmake your approach.
Be cautious, though.
While akindgaze does wonders, an unbroken, wide-eyed stare is creepy.
If youre worried youll go overboard, usethe triangle techniqueand smile.
Nothing says I like you like abig ol smile.
Approach From the Front
The wrong kind of approach will end things before they even start.
If theyre facing away, either make your way around, or wait for them to move.
Approaching them from the front also gives you both a chance to catch each others glance and gauge interest.
Youre cute and you have pretty eyes arent going to cut it.
Leave them with a compliment that will stick with them and make you unique.
Also, ditch the pickup lines and cheesy one-liners.
Overall, participants in the study preferred openers that were more innocuous or direct.
So skip the Are you wearing space pants?
Otherwise, just go for it and offer to buy them a drink or make a unique compliment.
Light touching shows interest beyond a doubt.
When someone is certain that youre interested, its easier for them to respond in kind.
In the bookClose Relationships,Dr.
Just be sure the atmosphere is right when you try it, or you might make them feel uncomfortable.
Here are some of Nerdloves examples:
Youre the coolest person Ive met… at this bar, anyway.
Holy crap, you really are such a nerd, its adorable!
Its a shame you seem like a nice person, youre giving me the most inappropriate ideas.
Were never going to get along, were too similar.
Keep it playful, friendly, and make itabundantlyclear that youre teasing.
Nerdlove says good flirting is about riffing and playing off what one another says.
Dont force a change in the conversation, and keep things light.
If you say something unfunny or upsetting, apologize and change the topic.
Acknowledge that you messed up and move on to a happier subject.
When in doubt, Nerdlove suggests you justbe a great listener.
It gives people a chance to open up about themselves, and gives you a chance to relax.
Nerdlove suggests it all comes down towatching the other persons body languageand listening to how they respond.
If you see these signals, dial it back:
Theyre being polite, but unresponsive.
Their smiles are quick smirks that dont look authentic.
They give short, uncomfortable laughs.
Theyre not volleying back jokes or questions.
Nobody likes an overbearing flirt; Its pushy, awkward, and super skeezy.
Also, people talk.
You never know when one bad social interaction will make things worse for you in the long run.
Illustrations by Angelica Alzona.
