Im terrified of flying.
Logically, I know that my fear is illogical.
I know that commercial flight is statistically safe.
I understand what turbulence is and that modern passenger jets can withstand more in-flight abuse than they normally experience.
I know these facts, but they dont comfort me.
My fear has gotten worse in the past decade, which is how long Ive been a parent.
I have more to lose than I once did.
Im like that from the moment we begin rolling down the runway until the moment the wheels touch down.
I realize what people must think when they see me like this, and I dont care.
Unless its my kids sitting next to me.
Flying scared is like that.
They might cry also.
Heres how I keep a brave face.
Book Well
It all begins with the flight itself.
Make it as short and painless as possible.
Above all else, serenity should be your goal.
Consider flying direct, even if it means a long drive.
If direct is impossible, venture to pick anairport that has a reputation for punctuality.
Here Im thinking of gate-to-takeoff delays, when youre trapped in awful anticipation.
This will cost more money, but it will make the experience less horrible.
I am a tall person.
Ive been in airline seats that forced me to choose between crushed kneecaps and manspreading.
I appreciate carriersthat realize the value of legroom.
And its nice to have a little nosh.
The last flight I was on served fruit, cheese, nuts and hummus.
The pleasure of eating tasty food helped quiet my screaming amygdala.
I wasnt a monkey in a cage.
I was a layabout on a picnic, tickling my palate.
Ever feel paranoid when youre stoned?
Ever feel paranoid when your fragile body is miles above the safety of solid ground?
Remember, were trying not to freak out in front of the kids.
Prescription medication is a viable choice, but those drugs have side effects.
Its good to know how they alter your body and mind before its go time.
And in terms of treating your fear of flying,they might not even work.
How about a couple glasses of wine?
That pinot will make youtipsier than usual.
Leave the drinking to the pilots.
The airplane is simply another loathsome place, like the DMV or the dentists office.
Do something together that takes your mind off your mental state.
Play Mad Libs or share one of those detailed zen coloring books.
Deal a game of Crazy 8s or Gin.
Bring a magnetic chess board or a book of crossword puzzles.
Or look beyond the airplane itself.
When we last flew, my daughter gazed out the window, breathlessly describing the terrain below.
It was the first time shed seen the Earth from so high up.
Still, if it was to be my last memory, at least it was a happy one.
Know Thyself
In general, the average adult could stand a little more introspection.
Regarding the topic at hand, think about the exact reason you are scared of flying.
Is it the weird noises?
Once you know the source of your fear, you might distract it effectively.
Create a playlist of songs that make you want to boogie.
Listen to silly podcasts.
Watch movies or read a book.
Open a meditation app and practice intentional breathing.
For me, the source of fear is lack of control combined with consolidation of risk.
Not just for my flight, but all the other ones nearby.
And so are my kids.
In a normal day, its unlikely my family would be wiped out.
The four of us are in four different locations.
Put us together in an airplane, and its all or nothing.
Specifically, listening to the audiobook ofThe Martian.
I stumbled onto this antidote the last time I flew.
As astronaut Mark Watney dictated his daily plans, successes and failures into my earholes, my chest relaxed.
I even chuckled at the funny bits.
This is exactly what I do when Im not locked in a tube of death!
I make plans and I modify plans and I talk about plans.
Sometimes I make plans to make plans.
It was like I was listening to myselfa smarter, braver version of myself.
After all, I doubt Ill ever end up trapped on Mars.
I hear its quite a long flight.
