You know your sex life isnt great.
Youve had bad fights with your partner about the subpar state of your sex life.
Youve read magazines and articles online telling you to have more sex and spice things up.
And yet, you just cant bring yourself to make any changes.
Read on to learn how you’ve got the option to finally find your motivation.
Know that youre not alone
Most people feel incredibly alone when theyre struggling with their sex life.
So let me repeat myself: you are not alone!
Everyone struggles with their sex life in one way or another.
It doesnt just happen magically.
Sex is the most unnatural natural act!
This is an incredibly personal question that only you could fully answer for yourself.
Forget about what your sex life looks or feels like right now.
What do youwantit to look and feel like?
Because thats what sex is supposed to be like is not an acceptable answer.
What are your personal, meaningful reasons why you want your sex life to look a certain way?
How will your life be impacted by you having the sex life you desire?
It may also help to think back to a time when sex felt less complicated to you.
What did you enjoy about sex?
What was the experience like for you?
What are you missing now?
I recommend giving yourself plenty of time here and taking notes.
Having an active, passionate, and satisfying sex life doesnt just happen magically.
What dynamics are getting in your way?
Its important to be brutally honest with yourself here.
Youve overloaded your schedule to the point where you dont have the time for sex.
You dont have much privacy.
You and your partner feel like strangers to each other.
You dont take care of yourself.
You rarely feel sexual desire.
Again, taking notes can be really useful.
The more specific and detailed you’re able to get, the better.
But since your sex life includes your partner, its also helpful to think about them.
But see if you might remember a time when you and your partner had a better sex life.
What was it like to feel really intimate with and connected to your partner?
How did it affect your relationship?
How did it impact your partner?
See if you could remember a time when you and your partner had a better sex life.
Maybe you want them to give you the space for your own self-care.
Maybe you want them to go to a sex therapy session with you.
Dont fall into that trap!
Instead, focus on something that feels manageable right now.
