The bun has been in the oven for nine months, and now its toasted golden brown.
Time to get it out!
This will be a kinetic operation.
Youll serve as escort, confidant, valet and bodyguard.
Your discomfort, embarrassment, hunger or sleepiness is irrelevant.
Success is a new mom holding a tiny infant to her chest.
Recon
Learn all the possible routes to the hospital.
Drive them on different days of the week, at different times of the day.
And yes, you should drive.
This is no time for public transit.
No, she does not.
The second half of recon is putting eyes on the hospital itself.
Do you enter through the ER?
How many steps from the curb to Labor and Delivery?
When is shift change?
Hows the lighting at night?
She would walk a few steps, shriek through a contraction, then walk a little farther.
According to Guinness, she holds the record for the slowest 40-yard dash of any bipedal mammal.
Her achievement is my fault.
Persuade
Going through labor is painful and hard, but its slightly less terrible at home.
Hospitals are cold and brightly lit.
Theyre full of cranky people, and the snacks are trash.
Home has a solid wifi connection, dim lamps, fuzzy slippers and the implicit permission to get weird.
Once labor begins, dont go to the hospital too earlybut dont wait too long.
As the confidant and valet, you must be proactive during this time.
Dont wait for your partner to ask for help or for comforting items.
Its hard to articulate your needs in that state of mind!
Learn what the stages of delivery look like.
Take a birthing class.
Read about coping mechanisms.
Hire a doula, if youre worried that youll be too overwhelmed.
But mostly, think about the times youve had to convince your partner to do something shes reluctant about.
Which persuasive techniques work best?
Rely on that learned experience when the situation becomes intense.
The passenger door was open.
She had one hand on the armrest and one hand on the door frame.
No matter what I said, she wouldnt get in the car.
She was frozen, locked in her own head.
Finally, I went back to basics.
If you dont get in the car, we cant go to the hospital, I said.
Oh, she said, and climbed in.
Transport
When its go time, be the dude inDrive, not the one inBaby Driver.
Both dudes get their people where they need to go, but one takes unnecessary chances.
You dont need to rev the engine and pull a bunch of J-turns.
Be calm, controlled, confident.
My attorneys dont want me to tell you this, but accept non-traditional seating arrangements.
My wife kneeled on the front seat, facing backward, as I low-level sped through deserted streets.
Advocate
Giving birth in the United States is muchmore dangerous than it should be.
The chances of complications increase if your partners health history includes circumstances that are outside the norm.
The second time she gave birth, my wife elected toVBAC.
Most women who try that succeed, but there is an increased risk of uterine rupture.
My wife and I are by-the-book people, and so we followed the guidelines.
About seven hours later, we returned to the hospital.
My wife gave birth 10 minutes after we arrived.
Later, the risk of what she experienced became clear to me.
We did what we were told.
And so my wife endured active labor and transition with only my help.
And I faint at the sight of blood.
Of all the roles, bodyguard is most important.
You must be an active advocate.
Dont bow to authority.
Question the information youre told if it doesnt jibe with how your partner is feeling.
Be respectful, but direct and insistent.
Ask for more tests or more time for observation.
Ask for another doctor to take a second look.
People might give you the side-eye.
If things get dangerous, youll be in the right place.
