Here are some tips for understanding and dealing with bullies, no matter how old you are.
Whats more frustrating about adult bullies, however, is theyve gotten much better at hiding what they do.
An adult bully is much more subtle than their give em a swirly, thats so fetch teen counterparts.
They know how to poke and prod without attracting the attention of their superiors.
Even worse, they mightbe your superior.
Ive often seen adult bullies who are in a supervisory position at work.
In fact, many adults dont even realize theyre being bullied at all.
That can be a big problem when youre dealing with an adult bully.
They dont think of themselves as bullies, and may even consider you a buddy.
to address the problem, you’re gonna wanna find out what makes them tick.
Youre not the one with the problems, so you shouldnt ever take bullying personally.
Similarly, Gil explains:
Every bully Ive counseled has had serious insecurity issues.
Youre not necessarily stuck with them as you might have been in a school situation.
Generally speaking, if an opportunity arises for you to get away from them, take it.
It wont work every time, but if nothing else, its a start.
The bully singled you out because they see you as weak and vulnerable.
because they feel they can target the person in the area where they are the most insecure.
Some bullies will target someone who they perceive to be an alpha (e.g.
the popular girl, the good-looking guy, etc.)
to boost their ego.
Bullies are looking for people that are willing to submit to their power play.
have a go at keep your ego in check andlet it all roll over you.
For example:
If someone keeps making jokes at your expense, laugh along with them.
If someone makes sarcastic, fake compliments, thank them.
When someone says something rude, pretend that you didnt hear them.
Keep your cool if you do anything embarrassingso you dont give them any fuel.
When you stop being a victim, each of the bullys attempts becomes embarrassing for them, not you.
The less subtle and more aggressive they are, the easier they are to deal with.
Label them as a bully in your mind and consciously avoid their bait.
Take a stand
For some bullies, a little more force might be needed.
If a bully keeps pushing you despite your other efforts, you should probably push back.
Not physically, of course, but verbally.
Many bullies will back down at the first sign of resistance, so this can be highly effective.
If youre going to call them out on their actions, however, double-check you do it right.
Dont attack them:Therapist Roni Weisberg-Ross at Good Therapy recommendsyou calmly and self-assuredly stand up for yourself.
Avoid getting emotional or escalating the situation.
If you dont think youre ready, focus on not giving them the reaction they want for now.
Be specific:Holly L. Roberts at Livestrong explainsthat its important to be specific about the issue at hand.
Avoid blanket requests like stop bullying me and specifically tell them what theyre doing that is not okay.
Also, ensure you decide if you want to handle this privately or with others around.
This usually depends on the severity of the bullying, so you have to feel things out for yourself.
A more serious bully though might be best handled with some help from friends or coworkers.
You dont want to gang up them, but having others around can help ensure things dont escalate.
Tell someone who can help
Despite your best efforts, some bullies just wont go down easily.
As Gil explains, your safety should be your number one concern.
Some bullies are dangerous and may need legal interventions (e.g.
restraining order, police report, etc.)
to reduce the risk of harm.
This goes for bullies in the workplace too.
