Children need to feel their feelings, but too often, they become overwhelmed by them.
But its even more important to teach them how to calm themselves.
And thats where brain training comes in.
A childs academic skills or athletic talents will only take them so far in life, Morin tells me.
A child who cant control his temper or one who cant handle feeling frustrated wont be able to succeed.
In her book, Morin shares some visualization tactics for regulating big emotions.
Heres how you could teach kids to calm their minds and bodies at every age.
It works like this:
1.
Breathe in through your nose, like youre smelling a piece of pizza.
Then breathe out through your mouth like youre trying to cool the pizza down.
Repeat this exercise several times slowly to calm the body and the brain.
Another alternative is to teach them to take bubble breaths.
Have them go outside and blow some bubbles.
When theyre upset, remind them to take bubble breaths.
Deep inhale, slow exhale.
Tell your child to think of white bears for thirty seconds.
This could include anything from polar bears to stuffed animals.
Stay silent and let your child imagine the bears.
When time is up, say stop.
Then tell your child to think about anything he wants for the next thirty seconds.
But tell him that he cannot think about white bears.
Wait thirty seconds and ask him how he did.
Most kids will say white bears kept creeping into their thoughts.
If your child says he managed to avoid thinking about white bears, ask him how he did it.
Then give your child a simple task to do for thirty seconds.
When time is up, tell him to stop.
Then ask him how much he thought about white bears during the task.
If hes like most people, hell probably say not at all.
Sad feelings are not bad feelings.
If children want to talk, let them, and listen.
Morin suggests having them think of themselves as a fuse:
Teach your teen how to lengthen her fuse.
Talking to a friend, listening to her favorite song, or doing some yoga might reduce her stress.
Help her identify the things that could help her handle stress in a healthy way.
Share the strategies that help you lengthen your fuse on a rough day too.
Discuss how to recognize when she has a short fuse.
Perhaps she gets irritable when anyone talks to her.
Or maybe she starts tapping her fingers loudly or pacing back and forth.
Talk about the warning signs you experience when you have a short fuse.
Then explain how everyone has options when theyre stressed out, tired, or having a bad day.
And everyone can take steps to lengthen their fuse.
Thats a good goal.
