Many people have a hard time receiving time, attention, or stimulation in the bedroom.
For so many of us, it can be easier to give than to allow ourselves to receive.
If they dont want to receive oral sex, thats their choice.
If they dont want you to help them orgasm, thats their prerogative.
Letting your partner know that you understand this dynamic can actually help them feel more comfortable receiving.
Say something like, Its your body, you get to choose what you feel comfortable with.
But I just want you to know that I would love to spend more time paying attention to you.
Start with something like, Im just curious to understand what this is like for you.
When I offer to focus on you, what kind of response does that bring up?
Then listen to what they have to say.
You dont have to attempt to fix your partner.
The most powerful thing you might do is listen.
They may even worry that you dont really want to be giving them attention in the first place.
Share specific details of why you would enjoy that.
Dont Make it About Your Pleasure
Its awesome to be a giving and generous partner.
Your partner may be resisting receiving because they can sense that your attention has an ulterior motive.
This comes up particularly around orgasm.
Spend some time brainstorming how else could you be generous to your partner.
you’re free to even ask your partner what you could do to help them feel pampered.
Maybe you could do more than your fair share of the chores.
Maybe you could plan a special date night.
(The role-playing aspect of it can also help.
See which variation your partner enjoys the most.
