Its normal to feel a little uneasy or unsure about a new romantic interest or new friend.
Fear of abandonment is an all-consuming fear that people close to you might leave you, saysDr.
Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, a certified psychiatrist.
Fear of abandonment also symbolizes insecurity, poor self-image, and feelings of worthlessness, Dr. Gonzalez-Berrios says.
Where does fear of abandonment come from?
How does fear of abandonment manifest?
Anxious attachers are preoccupied with ensuring that their attachment needs will be met, explains Sanders.
Without doing these things, you experience a lot of anxiety.
The goal of anxious attachers is to maintain closeness, because closeness [equals] safety.
Those with an avoidant attachment, avoid becoming attached to others due to fear of abandonment, says Sanders.
The goal for avoidant attachers is to maintain independence because independence equals safety.
Consider why…you feel distressed, or what will happen if people leave you?
When you are able to identify the worst-case scenarios, youll be able to face your fears boldly.
Sanders says its also important to recognize that the things that youre doing once kept you safe.
Another exercise to consider: Connect with the part of yourself that is afraid.
Notice how you speak to yourself now, Sanders says.
Notice how it ingrains your current patterns and fear of abandonment.
And finally, its crucial to create safety within.
Create an inner voice of the person you needed as a child to not abandon you, Sanders says.
Speak to yourself as that person whenever youre experiencing abandonment fears.
Just starting at five minutes a day and increasing to 15 minutes a day.
If youre a meditation beginner, there is no shame in using guided meditation.
In fact I recommend it.
