Relationships require a delicate balance of honoring and bringing two peoples needs and desires into one unit.
This is where codependency comes into play.
Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, a certified psychiatrist.
In this bang out of relationship, the partner or sometimes both are excessively reliant on each other.
So why does this happen?
This prevents communication and leads to an oversensitive relationship, she says.
Where does codependency come from?
Codependency can feel like people-pleasing and be a sign of low self-esteem.
Signs of codependency
Taking care of your partner isnt always unhealthy.
The relationship feels empty and draining.
The caretaker partner tries to satisfy and like their taker partner at all costs.
Another telltale sign of a codependent relationship is if youre seeking your sense of worth from your partner.
The codependent partner is dependent on the caretaker for their sense of worth and well-being.
The taker partner is needy and emotionally dependent on the other partner.
As a result, the taker partner is never filled up emotionally.
They seek attention to the point of abusing the other partner.
In codependency, the taker partner feels jealous if they see their partner spending time with someone else.
Both partners usually have a history of poor attachment style in early childhood.
This has made them feel less worthy of themselves and have poor self-esteem.
The relationship is full of irritation and repressed anger from both ends, yet appears fine.
To heal from codependency in a relationship, it is important to cultivate healthy selfishness, Nelson says.
This kind of self-love allows you to love others more fully and more realistically, she says.
Additionally, Nelson recommends being honest with your partner about what you feel.
Now, as an adult, it’s possible for you to speak up.
For all your good intentions, Gonzalez-Berrios understands it can be difficult to break the pattern.
Codependency is an emotional spiral because both partners are meeting each others needs in specific ways.
It is tough to break the negativity that lies deep within the relationship.
Both partners should focus on self-care and self-love.
They need to understand that love is unconditional and not needy.
One can only love others in a healthy way if they are themselves secure and loving from within.
