Weve all seenor ahem,beenthose overzealous parents yelling instructions across the field.
Does your kid actuallywantto play the sport?
The first place to start is by finding out whether they stillwantto play.
Are you still interested in playing?
If they are, you could then dig deeper.
They may feel discouraged about their skills.
Maybe they feel buried under a mountain of pressure to succeed.
Maybe theyre not sure where they fit in on the team, or how they can best contribute.
Maybe their coachs style doesnt click with them.
Try asking questions like, Whats your favorite thing about this sport?
Whats your least favorite thing?
or When do younotlike playing it?
What thoughts do you have when you dont feel like playing?
Keep in mindthis probing may not work at first.
Some kids will clam up and give one-word responses just to make the inquiry stop.
Instead of harping on what you see themnot doing, focus on what they are doing well.
Did they support or communicate well with their teammates?
Can you tell they tried hard to stay in position, when theyve struggled with that in the past?
Swallow that need for results and think about their longterm self-esteem.
Or of one who said, You really ran hard out there today!
Find somethinganythingpositive to acknowledge, and confirm youre acknowledging theireffortabove their outcomes.
When were frustrated, its worthwhile to engage in self-evaluation.
What are our expectations and are they based in whatwewant, or what our child wants?
Why are we so bothered by their performance?
What does how they play say aboutus?
Are they there for fun?
As hard as it may be, accepttheirintentions and ambitions without pushing your own onto them.
