Our societal narrative for figuring out what to do with your life is pretty clear.
After high school and potentially college, you enter the workforce.
Great, but that rarely happens.
And, if youre anything like me, you feel lost, anxiousand panicked.
I would look in the mirror and ask, What the hell am I doing?
I was supposed to be a [dream profession of the week] by now…
Things hadnt shaken out the way I expected they would.
But I did know Im not the only one out there that felt like that.
This monster is the quarter-life crisis, and it is very real for a lot of young people.
Youre probably recently out of school, or just starting a career.
Older people consider you a kid and respect you as much as one.
It manifests intoa key in of imposter syndromethats hard to shake.
Eventually, you spread yourself too thin, and it all unravels.
Youre living on autopilot.
Phase Four:You begin rebuilding your life slowly but surely.
Phase Five:You develop new commitments that are more in line with your interests and aspirations.
Basically, by doing my best and shooting for the stars, I set myself up to be disappointed.
Im sure many of you could relate.
What youre going through is totally normal
It always helped me to know that I wasnt alone.
Happy, successful people from all walks of life have experienced similar crises.
Even your parents likely went through what youre going through now.
I struggled similarly in my 20sit helped me remember that my perception of falling behind wasnt really accurate.
Gehlert also recommends confiding in a mentor outside of your jobsomeone you might be completely honest with.
Your situation is not unique, no matter how lost you feel.
Countless people have made it through, and so will you.
The benefits of emotional intelligenceare well known, and its a major part of dealing under duress.
It lets you react to your feelings without you losing control and letting your emotions get away from you.
If you struggle with it,start a journaland put your thoughts and feelings on paper.
Writing about how I feltlike thishelped me a great deal.
Beaware of what you saytoo.
Listen to the words you use and reflect on them.
How do you sound?
How would you interpret what you said?
Put yourself in uncomfortable situations andbe mindful of how you handle them.
Develop a healthy perspective on your life, stop pitying yourself andharness the awesome powers of gratitude.
Just because youfeellost right now doesnt mean youare, or that youll always feel that way.
I started writing, for example, when I had free time while working in an office.
It started out as a hobby that turned into freelance opportunities, and then my job.
Sure, I took a chance and jumped off a career cliff, but I had a parachute.
If you have a college degree, dont let it define you or what youre capable of.
Of course, some things arent meant to be.
If youve already tried to fixyour relationship issues,recognize when its time to call it quitsand move on.
Stoppouring over peoples Instagram feedsin envy.
Those are just highlight reels.
If you cant find a way to use those stories for inspiration, stay away from them.
Everyone has their own path in life, and you should focus on yours, not someone elses.
So when you find something you like, go with it.
The sooner you let go of what others expect of you the better.
From my experience, I can tell you that this is the hardest part.
Buta little acceptance goes a long way.
This time of your life is a period of transition, and you better keep yourself grounded.
You cant fix everything instantly, so be patient and set realistic goals youknowyou can achieve.
If you, say, have crippling student loan debt, just focus ongetting a strategy in motion.
The transition into adulthood might suck, but I know wed definitely be worse off if it never came.
This story was originally published on 6/27/16 and was updated on 10/23/19 to provide more thorough and current information.
