How to Really Listen in Conversation

Listening: the poor mans talking.

But your turn to pay attention to someone elses blah blah will come.

Heres how to be the kind of listener youd like to talk to.

Keep Your Opinions To Yourself

Not forever, of course.

Listening helps you handle conflict, express respect and be a better leader, Nickerson says.

Unfortunately, most people dont remember because they dont hear it in the first place.

Anarticlein Psychology Today says something similar, describing it as consciously deciding to give input.

Dont let your desire to impress trump whats best for the interaction and the desired outcome.

In the right situation, restraint can be just as compelling.

Do you add content to a conversation only when wise?

Or are you just listening to get revved up to talk?

Listen for the silences.

A lot of misunderstandings can be avoided with a few simple questions.

You wont look stupidyoull look like you give a crap.

Thats all most people want.

Youve said A and B.

Does that mean you believe C?

That gives them the opportunity to clarify, or agree.

People rarely tell you a story for no reason.

Figuring out what that reason is is the challenge.

This all sounds exhausting.

Listening actively is a skill thats honed, and one you might employ or not.

There are also whole courses onlistening, because not everyone you listen to is a good talker.

Sometimes people are boring, meandering, and distracted.

But sometimes they have useful information.

You should know how to extract it.

Sometimes you just cant listen!

Sunny Sea GoldwroteinScientific Americanthat she had been accused of being a bad listener by her husband.

And if someone doesnt get that, theyre the one who needs to work on listening.