Congrats on the new baby!
Forget whether or not youre prepared to raise a whole human being from infancy into adulthood.
The real question is,Are you ready to get laid again?
For new parents, that might not seem like the most top-of-mind question.
After all, theres a lot going on in their lives.
The first thing you better schedule is time off.
You have to heal!
If your partner is pushing you, communicate clearly and firmly that youre not ready.
Right after giving birth is the most insane rush of hormones that no one prepares you for.
My libido did not exist for the next three months.
Plus youre exhausted and everything is blubber and youre sore, and your world is rocked, she recalled.
However, they say not to have sex for six weeks after.
I felt like a rockstar.
But what if yourenot just feeling it?
Embrace your new body and feelings
Be kind to yourself.
Remember that your body just grew a human from cells.
Organs moved and rearranged themselves to make room for this critter to grow.
In that silence, I see women naturally disconnect from their partners.
Dads, listen up, because this goes for you, too.
You were pretty darn into them ten or so months ago, right?
Is the new disinterest purely physical, emotional, or a mix of the two?
Talk it out together.
Every couples experience is different.
Sex felt like something to check off my daily to-do list when pregnant, for sure.
Life got busier; you have this whole other human around 24/7.
There are resentments that seeped in, she said.
I felt he wasnt doing his fair share of responsibilities, and it was unattractive to me.
Communication is important here.
Young and her husband worked that out together.
Lexis agreed, saying, Be honest with your partner.
They cant feel or understand what you are feeling if you do not help them to understand.
Seek out help if you need it.
Many compare themselves to their old self before the baby, and now see a sexually broken woman.
Her advice is in line with Young and Lexis: it’s crucial that you communicate.
Creeping resentmentabout household duties, a lack of sex, or anything elseis a silent relationship killer.
The key thing is to be vulnerable with each other, and approach the conversation with openness and curiosity.
Prioritize sexand yourselves
Parenting is a pretty selfless act.
In fact, it might be themostselfless act.
But you know how it is: You cant pour from an empty cup.
Carve out 20 minutes a few times a week and just get down to business.
She also advised that you shouldnt be put off by changes to the way you used to have sex.
Try not to make excuses.
Remember your partner is just that: your partner.
They care about you enough to have a child with you and bodily or lifestyle changes wont destroy that.
Do whatever it takes to get back into bedif and when youre ready.
Fehr recommended setting aside time to reconnect to pleasure generally, not just sexual pleasure.
This allows a woman to come back into herself and to find her grounding, Fehr said.
Its a way to help her get control over her life and not just be a vehicle for others.
Sit with that for a minute: Youre not just a vehicle for others.
ensure you communicate and get back into mutually pleasurable intimacy so both partners can be happy and fulfilled.
