Our relationships with our mothers can be complicated.
If youve experienced these feelings before, youre not alone.
You might still look for her approval even while resenting it at the same time.
Or you might struggle with communicating what you need from her.
This is where creating boundaries comes in.
Boundaries are an important life skill that are essential for having healthy relationships.
The benefits of boundaries
According toDr.
As well, clear boundaries allow us to express our individuality in healthy ways.
Good boundaries also provide us with the physical space that allows us to feel safe and secure.
Additionally some mothers use their financial means to exert pressure over an adult child.
First begin with being openshe will not know what you do not tell her, Kelly says.
Unless you express your wants and needs, she cannot adjust her behavior.
Once you know your needs, you might express them calmly and clearly.
In general, the best scripts for setting boundaries are very simple and straightforward, she says.
Here are a few examples of healthy scripts for boundary-setting.
- just respect my boundaries around this issue.
It is important for me and my personal well-being that you honor my needs.
I know that you care about me, so hey honor my wishes.
I feel very disrespected when my boundaries are disregarded.
It is important for my personal well-being and the health of our relationship that you respect my needs.
As well, adding a heartfelt I love you often makes boundary-setting easier for a mother to embrace.
Kelley says theres a good reason for that.
This is due to the investment in the relationship.
The more invested we are, the more is at stake if the relationship suffers.
While our mothers can be our biggest cheerleaders, they can also be our biggest critics.
Thats why it is even more important to establish boundaries with your mom.
