Heres your guide to turning this fantasy into a reality.
If youre worried about how your partner might react to this news, explain your reasoning.
Its easy to think the worst when someone shares that theyre interested in having a threesome.
Make it clear that your partner is the most important person in the triadnot the third person.
This is especially crucial if your relationship is monogamous.
Your partner may worry that youll end the relationship if you dont get to have a threesome.
Or they may be going into self-sacrificing mode, and putting your needs before their own.
Threesomes can be disastrous if one partner is just doing it for the other.
Let them know its not a deal-breaker for you.
(Unless it isbut thats another article.)
In particular, what guidelines or boundaries do you want to have in place?
Do you want any specific boundaries for your very first threesome?
For example, maybe you want to ease into things by just kissing and fondling.
What specific sexual activities are off the table?
Maybe youre comfortable with intercourse, but you dont want kissing.
Are the rules different for each partner?
What happens if one of you gets jealous or uncomfortable in the middle of the threesome?
What do you want the third person to do after the threesome?
Are you open to repeat performances with the same person?
A lot of my clients complain that this step is boring and takes the fun out of the fantasy.
But if you care about your relationship, its so important to be clear on your comfort levels.
This is where a lot of threesome fantasies fall apart.
Go through potential scenarios with each other.
Theyre not called unicorns for nothing.
Its a tall order.
Dating apps are your friend here.
Meet somewhere for a drink and a discussion of what youre looking for.
I think its best to convey your boundaries to the third person before the three of you are naked.
It might feel more intimidating initially, but it will ensure a better experience for all of you.
confirm to ask the third person about their comfort levels and guidelines too.
Remember that theyre a human being with their own need and boundaries.
Theyre not just a plaything for you and your partner.
But there are so many ways a threesome can go wrong.
Its best to take your time, and proceed with care.
Your thoughtfulness will pay off in the end.
