Everyone has a sexual fantasy.
Maybe yours involves role playing or dabbling with BDSM.
Talking about sex with a partner is already hard enough for some people.
It makes one feel vulnerable.
Sexual fantasies are arousing erotic images that we conjure up in our heads, Moore says.
And if youre wondering if we all have themyes!
Each person has sexual fantasies.
Fantasies are inherent to every human being.
As a matter of fact, they provide insights into someones personality, relationships, and overall well-being.
They dont even have to mean something about you.
Why you might want to live out your sexual fantasies
Sometimes fantasies stay just thata fantasy.
These sexy dreams empower people to give their desires a try.
It even prepares you for possible sexual events.
All these provide new insights into your desires and limitations.
What is your sexual fantasy?
It will also give you a better idea on how to answer any questions your partner might have too.
How do you start?
Moore suggests you bring up the topic outside the bedroom or sexual situations.
Also, the outcome will be more pleasurable and intimate for you and your partner.
Something like, We were in this period drama.
You were the count, and I was your mistress…
The trick here is to bring up your fantasy as a compliment.
After sharing your sexual fantasy, Moore says its crucial to ask your partner what they think.
Its equally important to ask your partner if there are scenarios theyve thought about playing out.
Respond gently as your partner has responded to you.
And if you think one intimate conversation around fantasies is going to do it, Moore says no way.
Conversations around sexual fantasies shouldnt happen just once, and youre done.
They must comprise a series of talks between consenting partners.
If theyre disgusted by it or react negatively, try another time, she says.
Maybe your sexual fantasy doesnt sit right for them, or they might have one very different from yours.
Different people have different sexual fantasies.
Explain what youre comfortable with and what youre not about the scenario you want to play out.
Remember that healthy boundaries go both waystheyre not just for you but also your partner.
She suggests creating a list of things you both think are sexy and those that are off-limits beforehand.
Then, establish a safe word to immediately stop the action when things get uncomfortable or overwhelming for you.
Moores stresses consent is a crucial aspect of enacting sexual fantasies throughout the entire experience.
Both partners have to give and get consent throughout.
Are you OK being called demeaning names?
Do you prefer verbal and oral punishment or some light butt-spanking?
Tell your partner your limits and vice versa.
Consent between sexual partners is crucial when enacting BDSM, Moore says.
Every act must be safe, sane, and consensual (SSC).
If something is OK for you or your partner once, it doesnt automatically mean that itll always be.
So, ensure to communicate throughout your interaction.
Next, enjoy and have fun with your sexy fantasy turned reality.
After all the planning, dont be overwhelmed by all of them, says Moore.
The goal of playing out your fantasy is for you and your partner to be turned on.
Dont sweat it if it gets awkward or if you break character.
Enjoy the show and move on.
Thats either replaying the sexy scene or ending it and finding another scenario to act out.
End your play with aftercare.
For example, you could talk about the sex that you just had.
