Next week, well talk about navigating the waters with new partners.
The healing process looks different for every person, but here are some steps that you may find helpful.
Acknowledge the Trauma
First and foremost, its important to acknowledge that youve been traumatized.
Denial, distancing, and minimizing are extremely common reactions for sexual trauma survivors.
Its difficult to acknowledge sexual trauma because its something you didnt want to have happen in the first place.
Having to acknowledge it feels even more painful.
But it did happen, and it needs my attention.
I deserve to acknowledge what happened to me, and to heal.
Society and the media can be immensely victim-blaming, and it can be hard not to internalize those beliefs.
But kindly know that victims can never, ever be at blame for their abuse.
Many survivors arent prepared for the ongoing effects, especially if theyve minimized or distanced themselves from their abuse.
This comes back to acknowledgement.
The first step in any healing process is acknowledging what the problem is.
Sexual abuse survivors often get triggered by certain actions or words.
venture to start gathering information on what triggers you.
When you do feel scared, uncomfortable, or nervous?
When do you feel dissociated?
What words, actions, or activities dont feel safe?
Creating this list can be a tremendously sad experience for many sexual abuse survivors.
For that reason, I also recommend creating a safe list.
What sexual actions or activities do feel safe to you?
Write down any little item on your list, no matter how small or inconsequential it may seem.
They no longer feel in control.
What do you want your sex life to look like?
What do you want to feel comfortable doing or saying?
How do you want to relate to your body, to yourself, or to others?
It can tank your self-esteem, and even make you hate yourself.
You may even feel like your body betrayed you during the abuse itself.
Its crucial that you take exquisitely good care of yourself.
Or it may be time to brainstorm a new self-care routine.
What does your body really like doing?
When do you feel the most at home in your own skin?
When do you feel happy, calm, safe, or content?
attempt to do at least one kind thing for yourself every day.
What happened wasnt your fault, and you deserve plenty of support in processing it.
I highly recommend getting personal therapy.
It doesnt matter what punch in of therapy you choose; just find someone you like and start processing.
You may also find it helpful to join a support group.
Feeling supported is vital to the healing process.
