Youve got problems, Ive got advice.

This advice isnt sugar-coatedin fact, its sugar-free, and may even be a little bitter.

Welcome to Tough Love.

Things are not going well.

I simply want to give you the tools you should probably enrich your damn lives.

If for whatever reason you dont like my advice, feel free tofile a formal complaint here.

Now then, lets get on with it.

It was not a decision made lightly and I knew it would be hard.

What I didnt know is that my SO basically has no structure for discipline for his kids.

Theyre well behaved in public, so I had no indication of how different their home life was.

Also, they are helpless and they ask they yell at him across the house for every little thing.

Were seeing a therapist about this.

Me

As a non-parent, I kind of feel like that should be your job.

What did you do before I was here?

Thats not relevant, were a new family now.

I cant make rules when I have no idea what you want.

What are your guidelines?

Well, okay then, lets think of some repercussions.

What are your ideas?

How about withholding screen time?

No way, I dont want screen time to be a reward.

Okay, how about I make them vegetarian dishes whenever they misbehave at the table?

I dont want food to be a punishment!

And I wonder if hes projecting this failure on to me.

So, I need the tough love.

Our sweet lady therapist isnt going to do it, so bring it, c’mon.

Hey MoN, those kids sound like a nightmare and absolutely need discipline.

And for the record, taking away screen time is absolutely a great punishment when they misbehave.

Your SO is flat-out wrong.

Guess who shaped up real fast?

But the kids arent the real problem herenot by a long shot.

Your SO is trying to give you the runaround by deflecting all of his longstanding parenting issues onyou.

Hes totally, as you put it, projecting his failure on you.

Or when he does listen, he just shoots them down without offering any alternatives.

Thats some serious bullshit, MoN.

Tell him this is a serious issuehis issueand one that isnt going to just go away.

You are not going to just roll over and forget about it because you love him.

Damn, MoN, its like you moved into a house with three teenagers.

Hope you didnt forget the pizza rolls at the store.

Youre not a nanny.

Option two: Tell him youre moving out of the house to go live on your own again.

Option three: Give him an ultimatum.