Well, well, well.
If it isnt the consequences of my own actions.
And that sooner or later, everyone else is going to figure that out too?
Everybody stirs the pot from time to time.
Its human nature, but it can also be destructive, especially when its done maliciously.
it’s possible for you to hurt othersandyourself.
Heres how to stop gossipingor at least get a handle on your meddlesome ways.
First, forgive yourself
What werenotgonna do is beat ourselves up, OK?
Youre just a person, and people sometimes act like that.
I think to live in the South is to be well-versed in gossip, muses the Rev.
Rob W. Lee, a public theologian and activist in North Carolina.
We all know what is considered conversation for which punch in of situation.
Personally, I think its ingrained in us.
In some ways, at least down here, it can be harmless.
Even if youre not Southern, gossiping is likely part of your life, if not your culture.
Spanish-speaking people even have a word for gossipers: Chismosos.
Its baked into so many cultures because its part of the human experience.
I did gossip and I still do, declares one Michigan woman who asked to be identified as Pearl.
I think gossiping is natural and part of human life.
I would say that gossiping isnt necessarily bad, its just what you gossip about.
Lets talk about that.
Know the difference between harmless and harmful gossip
So Rev.
Lee thinks a lot of gossip is harmless, and Pearl agrees.
She points to a an ex-boyfriends recent tirade on social media (Lifehacker reviewed some screenshots).
Whatwasgossip was how quickly screenshots of and links to the rant spread among Pearls acquaintances.
Its a judgement call, and it can be a tough one to make.
Remember that you probably dont have all the facts.
There will be times when you hear something andneverget the full story.
Remind yourself not to perpetuate half-truths and falsehoods.
Gossiping isnt just sharing information, either.
Its prying information out of others or asking questions you have no business asking.
Dont get angry if someone else is withholding a third partys private information from you.
Dont put them in a position to gossip or break someone elses trust.
How to stop the cycle of gossip
You dont have to stop talking about other peopleentirely.
Thats not realistic, and its not even fun.
Reach out to them for their version of events.
Thats what leads to concrete change in conversation, says Rev.
Not to swerve into the good reverends lane here, but lets get biblical.
Deal in facts only.
So dont do it.
May the next thing someone says behind your back be that youre a trustworthy friend and a great secret-keeper.
