Heres how to stop.
Its perfectly fine to feel your emotions and express yourself accordingly.
Just like in physics, every action can have an equal and opposite reaction.
If something is truly upsetting, you’re able to be upset.
If something makes you justifiably angry, you’ve got the option to be angry.
The problem arises when you start to react in a bigger way than justified.
You forgot it, not them, but more importantly: its just milk.
Overreactions never make the situation better.
Say somebody else forgot the milk and now the meal youve been preparing is somehow ruined.
Stress causes us to overreact, but overreacting doesnt release any of it.
All it does is create more stressors in our environment.
There are two main types of overreactors: internal and external.
Internal overreactors dwell on the things that dont go their way, unable to think about anything else.
Their overreactions affect their happiness and let it get in the way of the things they want to do.
They might start to develop thoughts of, why me?
or this always happens to me, causing a great deal of stress.
External over-reactors are, as Susan at Sound Mind explains, themore classic variety.
They yell, scream, or snap back at people when something isnt exactly how they want it.
Regardless of your own tendencies, always remember thatsomereactions are justifiedespecially when yourespond instead of reacting.
The trick is to be aware of whether youre reacting or overreacting.
Identify your triggers
Most of the time, we have specific triggers that cause us to overreact.
We all have a button and every once in a while, someone knows exactly how to push it.
Personally, I know that I overreact when people suggest I do or did something without providing an example.
So think about the past month and all the times that something upset you.
Justified or not, identify the things that bother you the most.
The last time you overreacted, what was going in with you and your body?
Had you not eaten for a while?
Had you had any water at all that day?
Was it the end of a hectic week?
All of these things can turn the calmest of people into children with temper tantrums.
I know I get pretty hangry, myself.
Figure out what triggers your bomb so you know to defuse itbefore it goes off next time.
Try taking a deep breath next time someone cuts you off in traffic.
In my recent Facebook poll, overreacting while driving was the most commonly cited scenario for overreacting.
Just imagine if all drivers took a breath before responding, making hand gestures, or yelling obscenities.
Maybe you jump to conclusions and now you have time to think things all the way through.
Imagine yourself as a pot of water about to boil over.
Imagine youre a pilot and you cant do anything until youve cleared it with them.
Keep breathing and cool down.
Analyze:Think about what just happened rationally.
Find a way to be compassionate and avoid personalizing what happened to you.
Act:Express yourself with I statements or remove yourself from the situation.
If youre still upset, find a way to re-channel how you feel.
This system gives you the tools to take on frustrating situations systematically.
You would be surprised how much a little time can do when it comes to sidestepping overreactions.
This can be more difficult for some, but its important to look back.
Not to chastise yourself for overreacting, but to learn.
Ask yourself the big questions: Why did I do that?
What could I have done differently?
Did it even matter?
How would other people see it?
How would other people handle it?
With perspective, not only should you look back at how youve acted, but also forward.
Check your expectations and see to it theyre realistic.
Theres no black or white, so dont assume that everything is all good or all bad.
People and situations all sit in a grey area.
Think about what other people want or how they might feel about things.Overreactions are inherently selfish.
Stop thinking that youre entitled to certain things.
Dont bottle up your emotions
Sometimes overreactions happen because things go untouched.
If something has been bothering you for a really long time the tiniest prick can pop the balloon.
Address the past if possible and resolve any emotional leftovers you might have.
Address issues when they arise or as soon as youre able.
Let it out so you’re free to let it go and move on.
Find a friend or significant other you’ve got the option to vent to.
As long as they arent part of the issueand you trust themspill it out when theyre willing to listen.
If you cant vent to someone on person,put it down on paper.
Keep a journal, write a letter; do whatever it takes to unload.
Emotional baggage becomes more fuel when your bomb goes off.
Life is tough,get a helmet.
When things dont go your way, there are plenty of alternatives to losing your cool.
This story was originally published on 1/09/15 and was updated on 9/26/19 with new photos and updated links.
