I remember only one spanking from my childhood.
When my father came home, he decided I needed a spanking.
I was brought into the spare bedroom and whacked on the butt.
My dad asked if it hurt.
So he hit me again, then repeated question.
I was a stubborn child.
The spanking went on and on.
Eventually my dad decided we both had enough, and the incident ended.
I walked away proud of my ability to withstand pain in support of my pride.
My father walked away devastated.
Spanking has been a hotly debated topic since the invention of children.
In some culturesand especially in the Southwhuppin is as common as sweet tea and biscuits.
When kids misbehave, some parents turn toward spanking as a viable discipline strategy.
Kelly Clarkson was recently ridiculed after shepublicly discussed her willingness to strike her 1- and 3-year-old kids.
However,70% of Americansprivately admit that an occasional spanking is necessary to discipline a child.
How can we teach kids hitting is wrong while simultaneously hitting them?
In the long run, we cant.
Most parents would prefer not to have to hit their kids.
It does mean, though, they are operating with an empty toolkit.
Know Your Triggers
Children can be annoying, exhausting and relentless in pushing our buttons.
Their misbehavior can make even the kindest parent want to scream and whack something.
Figure out when you tend to lose your cool so you’re free to avoid reacting in anger.
That is when the majority of spanking occurs.
Have Age-Appropriate Expectations
Parents are often looking for unreasonable behavior from kids.
I see this time and time again in restaurants.
Ive seen the same in church and at an older childs winter concert performance.
It can be helpful to review what children are capable of doing at which age.
Its better to aim low and be pleasantly surprised than to stretch it and deal with a disastrous meltdown.
Consequences are so effective that even mice, dogs and pigeons can learn how to behave in desirable fashions.
Here are a few examples of explicitly stating consequences before behavior.
Be dressed with shoes on with your school bag packed by 7:15 am to make the bus.
If you miss the bus I will not drive you.
You will have to use your allowance for a taxi or walk to school.
Be in your pajamas by 8 pm or you will have to go to bed without a story.
If you dont put your clothes in the hamper you will have to do your own laundry.
A negative reaction can be as rewarding as a positive one.
Whenparents briefly ignoretheir misbehaving children, kids learn that more desirable behavior is required to receive rewards and attention.
Unfortunately, if kids dont receive attention and praise for meeting expectations, they might resort to acting up.
Any attention, even unpleasant attention, is often better for kids than none.
So dont miss an opportunity to notice your children cleaning their rooms or being nice to siblings.
Praise them for clearing their plates or for doing homework without complaining.
