Close to 30 percent of pregnanciesend in miscarriage, by one estimate.
And yet so many moms and dads still suffer in silence.
How do you support a friend or family member who has lost a baby?
Instead,letsmakeartwrites, just get up and help.
Dont ask her if she needs anything, just be there and do it.
If they are involved in activities like soccer or piano lessons, show up to drive them.
Feed them
The pain is both emotional and physical, asYtrapEhtNiojshares.
I never considered the physical aspect of a pregnancy loss until it happened to me.
I was losing blood, I was weak and in pain.
Add to that the emotional toll.
It was so hard.
People brought by soup and easy meals to digest.
I didnt want anything fancy.
The best was when someone brought by homemade chicken noodle with some soda crackers and cookies.
It was so comforting.
I could hardly care for myself at the time.
I didnt care much to eat but knew I had to.
I certainly would not have made food like that for myself.
It was nice to have it there for me when I was ready to eat.
This is not helpful.
Writes357Magnum:
And there is nothing that can really be done to make anyone feel better.
Everything that everyone says doesnt help.
… No one wants to be told that this is part of a grand plan.
No one wants to be told that it could have been worse.
No one wants to be told that it will all work out fine next time.
No one wants to be asked what the plan is.
No one is going to tell us anything new or useful, so they just need to stop trying.
Just to acknowledge that it is terrible, and that it is ok to feel terrible about it.
Because it just fucking sucks.
When someone says that my emotional gut reaction is like oh, was I not meant to be happy?
Well, Im still in pain.
But there have been some times where Ive laughed.
Where Ive thought about my baby and smiled.
She was here and she was real, and she was important.
Encourage people (if you’re free to bear it) to use her name.
To talk about her.
Dont let people pretend it didnt happen.
They dont have to be afraid of talking about her.
She always will be.
Shortly after the most recent, her sister-in-law got pregnant.
Its not to say dont complain but be mindful of who youre complaining to.
There are people whod give anything to feel morning sickness.
Writesbyakuyabankai:
Speak to her face to face if it’s possible for you to.
We both lost a child, not just one of us.
… it doesnt matter how far along she was, that was her baby.
She had all the hopes and dreams in the world for it and now shes in mourning.
Its a loss shell never be able to forget or get over.
The best way to support her is to treat this like any family member has passed.
