Breakups suckno matter what time of year they happen, but theyre particularly rough during the holidays.
While everyone is celebrating, youre struggling with loneliness and heartbreak.
Seeing everyone else living their lives at their most joyous can make the sting of rejection feel even worse.
If you had plans to see friends and your family during the holidays, keep those plans.
Its a good reminder that there are other people that care about you.
Of course, you cant just pretend the breakup didnt happen.
Dont venture to avoid processing your emotions.
Just balance being alone with being around others.
Isolating yourself entirely around the holidays will only make the heartache worse.
Lets be fair, too: your holidays will still be rough.
Dont expect that your holidays will magically be a perfect time of good cheer and merriment.
You dont need to get over your feelings and be totally happy for the sake of those around you.
Just dont hide from the love youre offered.
Give them space to speak to both of you and avoid putting them in the middle of your breakup.
Unfortunately, one of you might need to sit the party out.
That adds an extra messy layer to the breakup if theyve included you in their holiday plans.
Over the long-term, you might be able to, but at least for now, keep some distance.
As Marin explains:
I think its best to give things a bit of time in this situation.
Youll have to judge your situation on a case-by-case basis, of course.
Simply cover the basics.
We broke up, it didnt work out.
Marin also suggests sending an email to your family before a visit explaining the situation.
Let everyone know that your relationship has ended, but that youre not ready to talk about it yet.
Lastly, you should have a way to escape the conversation if it comes up.
Of course, if you want support from your family, its okay to let the floodgates open.
Just do it on your own terms with people you trust.
There are so many opportunities to volunteer and give back at this time of the year.
But its a good way to put your problems in perspective and feel more connected to your community.
Maybe your parents need help cooking or your uncle could use a hand repairing his shed.
The holidays are a great time to give to and support one another.
Illustration by Jim Cooke.
Photos byRobert Couse-Baker,Antonio Castagna,Luca Sartoni, andTim Sackton.
