You just invented a group dinner at a restaurant!
Large group dinners are great for the person organizing them, and horrible for everyone else.
Because theyre often arranged to celebrate special occasions, they are most likely socially mandatory.
Here is how to survive them.
This is how the ruling classes keep us down, and it is how you get the good seat.
Show up early
Yes, drag this event out even longer.
This way you’re able to gather your ideal table neighbors before everyone is seated.
Decorum demands that no one openly argues for the good seats.
You have established seniority by showing up early.
People are afraid to protest an unfair situation if it seems like the natural order.
This is how the ruling classes keep us down, and it is how you get the good seat.
So if you end up next to the wrong people, at least youll be less shy.
Share everything
Splitting any restaurant bill is fraught.
Group restaurant dinners are often birthday dinners.
This is a doubled evil.
We can only help you mitigate the financial damage.
Everyone will be forced to share the bill, so share the meal.
Order wines for the table, appetizers to share, entrees to share.
Go full family style.
Then the only feasible way to split the bill is evenly.
Well, awkward situations are why people invented cheesy games.
First, if you feel someone about to check their phone, call out phone time!
and let everyone check at once.
(A friend of a friend once saw Leonardo DiCaprio do this.)
Or When were done, I want to see the funniest picture you all have saved on your phone.
This is silly and also a little awkward!
But it turns the phones from a distraction into a conversation starter.
Everyone has something funny or interesting on their phone.
The person with the funniest thing on their phone gets the last spanakopita.
Pick a different date to get drinks with them, or a one-on-one dinner.
You could even go crazy and offer to host.
Turn it into a potluck.
Give yourself a whole new set of problems to deal with.
Just as long as its not calculating 11 checks after spending an hour next to someones cousin.
