(I say especially white parents because parents of color have always talked to their kids about race.)
But sometimes parents arent sure how, or when, to get started.
For the most part, I was just happy they were making friends.
She turned to me and said, We dont even see Becks color!
Hes just Chances friend!
It felt like someone had kicked me in my stomach.
I couldnt respond to what she said.
Its OK to see that!
Staying silent about race doesnt only not prevent racism, it actually helps perpetuate prejudices.
Thats whynot being racistyourself isnt enough;we have to be actively anti-racist.
So when your 3-year-old points and asks at the grocery store,
Why is he black?
Dont hush or ignore him.
Reframe the question,
Yes, he is black.
Do you want to go say hello and ask him what his name is?
Toddlers ask,
Why is the sky blue?
and
Why is his skin black?
in the same breath.
They dont associate meaning until they intuit our discomfort.
She received two baby dolls as a giftone doll was black, and one was white.
She took both dolls with her into the bathtub and started scrubbing the black one.
When her mom asked her why she was doing that, she replied, This one is dirty.
Her mom simply said, Oh, thats the color of that ones skin.
I was not shamed, recalls Lefevre, who is Mexican and white.
But a concept that little kids
do
get on a visceral level?
The concept of fairness.
They care about fairness a lot, Pahlke says.
It starts, when theyre very young, by answering their questions in simple, matter-of-fact ways.
Its good to watchepisodes like this onetogether as a family, and then discuss them together afterward.
