How to Talk to Young Kids About Sex

I remember thinking, Why is Mom being so weird?

Why cant we just talk like normal?

That one, awkward experience is actually what inspired me to become a sex therapist in the first place.

Dont follow my parents example!

You canand shouldhave much more informative conversations with your kids about sex.

By the time my mom talked to me about sex, I already knew way more than she realized.

For example, kids as young as two can be taught the proper names for their genitals.

At five or six, it’s possible for you to level up to how babies are made.

Kids are naturally curious, and will often blurt out questions without thinking.

This sends your kid the important message that its OK to ask and talk about sex.

Be Informative

Answer your childs questions about sex simply and straightforwardly.

If your son points to his genitals and asks Whats that?

tell him its his penis.

No need to come up with silly names or euphemisms.

ensure to end with, Does that answer your question?

or Do you have any other questions?

When the talk is over, say something like, Im glad you asked me that.

We can talk about this any time you want.

I want to tell you how babies are made.

You might also read age-appropriate books together, likeIts Not the Stork!

Read through them together, and ask your child if they have any questions.

Dont force them to hug or kiss people when they dont want to.

Talking about boundaries is also a great way to prevent yourself from inadvertently shaming your kid.

Get ready for an uncomfortable sentence: Children masturbate.

Dont shame them for these natural behaviors; instead, focus on the boundaries.

Talking about sex is hard!

You are not always going to get it right, and thats OK!

and Do you like Dads penis?

Can I think about it and give you an answer in a little bit?

(Of course, double-check you eventually get back to them.)

Give yourself a moment to cool off, then come back and apologize.

Talk about sex in your apology too.

For example, Im sorry I yelled at you for asking me about butts in front of Mrs. Jacobs.

I got embarrassed and made a mistake.

I want you to know its OK to ask me about butts when were at our house.

Even young children understand apologies.