Suicidal thoughts, and especially self harm or suicidal gestures, are not the norm, saysDr.
Stephanie Samar, a clinical psychologist who specializes in the treatment of mood disorders.
There are three functions, or causes, of suicidal thoughts.
One is a desire to escape from internal feelings and thoughts that feel unmanageable.
Another is the feeling they are a burden on loved ones.
And finally, a history of depression or suicidal ideation increases the likelihood a person will experience them again.
So if you suspect they may be having suicidal thoughts,ask them about it.
What we know is thataskingif someone is having suicidal thoughts doesntcreatesuicidal thoughts, Samar says.
Do not be afraid to ask your child questions.
Do not be afraid to directly ask if they are thinking of harming themselves or thinking of suicide.
These questions are asked in the context of caring and wanting to help them resolve their pain.
Reassure them there are no taboo thoughts, and attenuate any possible shame.
Parents could also say, I wonder if you have thoughts of suicide.
Listen to your childs distress and stay calm.
No matter what your child says, parents need to react calmly.
Listen when your child is upset.
Make a point to hear their distress.
If parents do not do this, children may shut down or react with anger.
Take a collaborative approach and do not dictate the solution.
King suggests saying, Im sorry you are in this pain.
Lets think of what we can do.
Lets see what we can do to figure this out.
I want to be helpful.
Lets get help, and lets learn more together.
You might put medications in your bedroom rather than a bathroom, for example.
Thats why its important to talk to teenagers about how theyre feelingandhow their friends are feeling.
If theyre feeling heard, theyre more likely to talk.
Finally, she says, when they do confide in you, dont immediately jump into problem-solving mode.
